Sunday, April 15, 2007

In Summary.....


Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "what happened to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call Mama. Any questions? ~ Mitch (City Slickers)

This week "off" has been such a wonderful experience. I was actually able to keep my house "tidy"....or at least my version of it considering the lifestyle I now have w/ children & the dog. I organized some things. Sorted through things that needed "weeding out" AND even got some work done in the yard. As much as I adore Christmas, Easter Break is always a more relaxing time. With all the rebirth of life in spring, I am always inspired to rid my existence of unnecessary things. Hey, I'm sure I still have quite a bit of the "unnecessary", but I have at least unloaded a vast amount of it from my life....old papers, scraps of junk, old clothes. As opposed to Christmas Break, I have very few obligations. I don't have the stress of making sure the decorations are picture-perfect (ok, stop laughing...it may not appear that everything is "picture perfect", but I STRIVE for it) only to pack them back up (even THAT takes me a while). The weather is usually more inviting this time of year. Despite the fact that it has been cooler than normal (snow on Easter weekend?! plus an extra day off due to the wind/tide), I did manage a day in the flower bed and get sun on the back of my neck while bending over the weeds. I DO hate the drudgery of everyday housework, BUT there is something cathartic about cleaning when I have time in the day for both cleaning AND play. I have thoroughly enjoyed this week because I have MADE time to see friends and feel that my home has actually been worthy of visitors. I suffer from some freakish mental disorder that does not ever let me think that my house is EVER clean enough to be seen by others. It never has the look of those pristine homes on tv where everything glistens and there is no clutter ANYWHERE......BUT, it is not in such a state where I would need one of those cleaning experts to shovel out rooms of half-eaten food and mounds of forgotten junk (well, except for the upstairs where we are remodeling - and there is NO half-eaten food!). Last night (Saturday) we had another couple over for dinner. I didn't get around to Swiffering the kitchen floor (which had already been done the day before). Bags of clothes for the thrift store and hand-me-downs littered the floor. But guess what....nobody died. Dinner was delicious (except I forgot to serve the stupid mushrooms and onions with the steaks - another martini moment. duh!). Despite my flub, we still had a great time. Friends are friends. This week has led to a few epiphanies. These are things I expect most people realize and embrace earlier in life. For some reason, I have not grasped these notions (and whether these become words to LIVE by is still debatable). First of all, my friends are my friends. They are not here to pass judgement on me due to the state of mess of my home. They come to visit ME not my dust bunnies. I need to perseverate less on my clutter and more on what matters in life. Second, I HAVE to focus more on the important things and less on the trivial matters in life. While doing the 'clean sweep', I found several old photographs. Looking at Daughter's early pictures, I must direct less attention to work and more attention on family. Spending a bit less time on work will not make me a less effective teacher. My family is the here and the now. That won't always be the case. I do not want to be a "woulda", "shoulda", "coulda" mom. My children do not need that kind of mom. A few things that occurred this week made me ask myself, "Do I KNOW my children? Do I really know what makes them happy? Do I know what their dreams are? Do I spend enough time with them?" I also need to make more time for the family members that are not my children. Spending time with Hubby makes me SO happy. We spent time together yesterday training our dog with the Invisible Fence we just bought (yes, yet another high dollar purchase this week...but not as stressful as buying the new fridge and the couch). I had so much fun in that 10 minutes. I SO enjoyed our obnoxious banter throughout dinner last night (some people don't "get" our relationship b/c we "smart ass" each other a great deal of the time, but we love it). Focusing on the mundane routines of life has resulted in less of these little moments together. I also spent a lot of time with Hubby's sisters this week while we went walking each day. I LOVED each time we went. In less than an hour we exercise, chat, and bitch about every problem imaginable. We vow to have the solution to every problem in the world or direct each issue to someone we are SURE can do it (and yes, we HAVE a name in mind). LAST, I need to allow myself the pleasure of enjoying new 'things'. I have worked hard and should not need to fight some kooky internal battle over a fridge and a couch.

What does this all mean? It means that I need to Spring Clean myself internally and enjoy life while I can. So many sicknesses and deaths have come to my awareness lately. I need to embrace the here and now so I won't regret it in the future. Hey, folks, help keep me in check.


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