Clubbin'

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~ Henny Youngman

Well, I haven't given up either! Instead I have combined the two! The book club gathered for the first time on Thursday night to select the first book. After a 3 1/2 hour discussion, we settled on Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. OK. Return your jaws to their normal positions. Do you really think we debated our book selection that long? No way! We caught up on all "the latest" and discussed our three choices intermittently while enjoying snacks and drinks. I absolutely LOVED our evening! :0)

Slide.Com

I tried taking pictures, but they were so mediocre. I guess every girl goes through a photography phase. You know, horses... taking pictures of your feet. ~ Charlotte (Lost in Translation)

Check out my slide show! YAY!
PS....I hate feet (esp. mine) so there shall be no feet photography!

Shame

It's always darkest before the dawn. ~ proverb

The drama of last evening has diminished significantly. Yes, me stressing again. Hubby and I mulled it over and figure we can find the funds to send Daughter to the conference if she really is dedicated to going. The opportunity is incredible! She would be visiting D.C., Philadelphia, Harper's Ferry, and spending one night at the Maryland Science Center. I'm sure I'll be commenting again!

On a similar, yet a bit different note, I watched American Idol - Idol Gives Back last night. Fretting over my finances seemed so trivial as I gazed at the screen with Daughter and seeing the plight that faces so many others in this world. I am ashamed of my selfishness. The mere fact that we have clothes, shelter, food, and good health makes us far more fortunate than many others. Something I need to keep in mind when I am dissatisfied with life as I experience it.

I Suck

I'm kicking my own ass! ~ Jim Carrey (Liar Liar)

I knew it! All the spending would come back to haunt me. We tend to be slack about getting our mail from the post office. I don't even have a key to the box....it's attached to some set of keys I handed off to someone and have no idea where they ended up (remember, I live in a safe area...I often leave my house for the day w/out locking the doors). Today Hubby brought home a letter addressed to the Parents of Daughter. It was a notification that she had been nominated to attend the Junior National Young Leaders Conference in Washington, D.C. Smiles and pride until I see the cost: $1770. I am sick. After rationalizing and accepting the new big ticket items we purchased with our tax refund, this comes. Giving up one of those items would have made this seem possible. There are all sorts of Fund Raising ideas, but the application is accepted on a first come, first served basis and is due on May 16 with full payment. I want to send Daughter. I don't know HOW to do it. I guess I was right to question our purchases. Excuse me while I go either puke, cry, or both.

Roses Are Red

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today. ~ Dale Carnegie

I am using this quote in the most literal sense. I generally have the blackest thumb when it comes to gardening and tending to plants. Somehow I have mangaged to maintain roses in my front yard. One of my favorite times of year is when they awake from their winter retreat and shyly begin to bloom. I have patiently waited....watching the leaves sprout, seeing small buds appear, and then finally my reward: my first bloom!!! My patience is still being challenged because now I am looking at all the buds that are ready to explode!!!! My first bloom has greeted me each day as I head off to work and, even yesterday when I was heading to school on Saturday (grrr), each day it has put a smile on my face and in my heart. Thank you little blossom for cheering me. Thank you God for giving me pleasure from this tiny blossom and for teaching me another lesson in patience. I am, at least for a short while, enjoying the roses blooming outside my window today. :0)

All Caffeined Up.....

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious. And hell yeah I'm the mother f***in' princess. ~ Avril Lavigne

OK. It's Friday night. I had Mountain Dew this evening. Mistake. It wouldn't be a problem if I DIDN'T have to go to school tomorrow to make up for Monday. It's now 10:40. I am revved up and can't be still. I am listening to all sorts of music on Lime Wire. One of my new favorites is Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. It's upbeat and obnoxious....kinda like I feel right now....but definitely not anything I relate to (as far as the lyrics go). I don't hate anyone's girlfriend nor do I want to be someone's girlfriend...just a fun song, especially when frazzled from caffeine. I think part of the euphoric feeling is due to the Girl Scout meeting. Those chicks keep me entertained. They giggle and act goofy and I can't help but join in the fun and get giddy myself. THEN Daughter totally embarrassed me in the grocery store...in a goofy, girly way. I presently am teaching the child of a guy I went to high school with. He was one of the "popular" people....not someone I typically hung around since I never quite seemed to earn enough cool points. I was more like David Spade in Tommy Boy: kept in the nerdery. Anyway, Daughter and I ran into him in the grocery store and exchanged hello's. Daughter asked who he was and I explained that he was Ginger's dad (nickname is a private joke btwn Daughter, Girlfriend, and me which I will happily share outside of the blog). Before he could get out of ear shot, Daughter tells me that he was checking out my butt. I was wearing my winter coat which would prevent any butt-viewing. I thought I was going to die! It's ok....I'll get my revenge when she's in middle school....that warrants at least 10 loud embarrassing "I love you's!" and maybe even a kiss! Is it possible to avoid this guy for the rest of the year?!

Shiny and New

I saw this nice bright and shiny thing and I just bought it. ~ Phil Hannon

The new fridge is here. OOO! Shiny! Me likey! :0)

A Woman Obsessed

'Mad' is a term we use to describe a man who is obsessed with one idea and nothing else. ~ Ugo Betti

Did you ever see that movie on the Lifetime channel where the woman tried to have her daughter's classmate killed in order to get her own child a spot on the cheerleading squad? Irrational, right? I AM IN NO WAY CONTEMPLATING DRASTIC MEASURES LIKE THAT...however, do you ever find yourself doing something totally irrational and obsessive when it comes to your own child? I found myself obsessing over Daughter today. I was sharing my worries with Luscious when she suggested a way to resolve the problem. It was devious, sneaky, and ridiculous BUT I did it! She was my accomplice which made it seem more like a silly prank (and I know it will be something we laugh about for years to come), but if you asked me yesterday if I would have done something like it...I would have said no. I've been sneaky before, but this was at an entirely different level. I wouldn't have done it had it not been to allay Daughter's fears and the compulsion to get to the bottom of her turmoil. The KICKER is that now that I've done it and I know that she has nothing to worry about I can't even divulge the info since I cannot explain how I know what I know. YEESH!

In Summary.....

Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "what happened to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call Mama. Any questions? ~ Mitch (City Slickers)

This week "off" has been such a wonderful experience. I was actually able to keep my house "tidy"....or at least my version of it considering the lifestyle I now have w/ children & the dog. I organized some things. Sorted through things that needed "weeding out" AND even got some work done in the yard. As much as I adore Christmas, Easter Break is always a more relaxing time. With all the rebirth of life in spring, I am always inspired to rid my existence of unnecessary things. Hey, I'm sure I still have quite a bit of the "unnecessary", but I have at least unloaded a vast amount of it from my life....old papers, scraps of junk, old clothes. As opposed to Christmas Break, I have very few obligations. I don't have the stress of making sure the decorations are picture-perfect (ok, stop laughing...it may not appear that everything is "picture perfect", but I STRIVE for it) only to pack them back up (even THAT takes me a while). The weather is usually more inviting this time of year. Despite the fact that it has been cooler than normal (snow on Easter weekend?! plus an extra day off due to the wind/tide), I did manage a day in the flower bed and get sun on the back of my neck while bending over the weeds. I DO hate the drudgery of everyday housework, BUT there is something cathartic about cleaning when I have time in the day for both cleaning AND play. I have thoroughly enjoyed this week because I have MADE time to see friends and feel that my home has actually been worthy of visitors. I suffer from some freakish mental disorder that does not ever let me think that my house is EVER clean enough to be seen by others. It never has the look of those pristine homes on tv where everything glistens and there is no clutter ANYWHERE......BUT, it is not in such a state where I would need one of those cleaning experts to shovel out rooms of half-eaten food and mounds of forgotten junk (well, except for the upstairs where we are remodeling - and there is NO half-eaten food!). Last night (Saturday) we had another couple over for dinner. I didn't get around to Swiffering the kitchen floor (which had already been done the day before). Bags of clothes for the thrift store and hand-me-downs littered the floor. But guess what....nobody died. Dinner was delicious (except I forgot to serve the stupid mushrooms and onions with the steaks - another martini moment. duh!). Despite my flub, we still had a great time. Friends are friends. This week has led to a few epiphanies. These are things I expect most people realize and embrace earlier in life. For some reason, I have not grasped these notions (and whether these become words to LIVE by is still debatable). First of all, my friends are my friends. They are not here to pass judgement on me due to the state of mess of my home. They come to visit ME not my dust bunnies. I need to perseverate less on my clutter and more on what matters in life. Second, I HAVE to focus more on the important things and less on the trivial matters in life. While doing the 'clean sweep', I found several old photographs. Looking at Daughter's early pictures, I must direct less attention to work and more attention on family. Spending a bit less time on work will not make me a less effective teacher. My family is the here and the now. That won't always be the case. I do not want to be a "woulda", "shoulda", "coulda" mom. My children do not need that kind of mom. A few things that occurred this week made me ask myself, "Do I KNOW my children? Do I really know what makes them happy? Do I know what their dreams are? Do I spend enough time with them?" I also need to make more time for the family members that are not my children. Spending time with Hubby makes me SO happy. We spent time together yesterday training our dog with the Invisible Fence we just bought (yes, yet another high dollar purchase this week...but not as stressful as buying the new fridge and the couch). I had so much fun in that 10 minutes. I SO enjoyed our obnoxious banter throughout dinner last night (some people don't "get" our relationship b/c we "smart ass" each other a great deal of the time, but we love it). Focusing on the mundane routines of life has resulted in less of these little moments together. I also spent a lot of time with Hubby's sisters this week while we went walking each day. I LOVED each time we went. In less than an hour we exercise, chat, and bitch about every problem imaginable. We vow to have the solution to every problem in the world or direct each issue to someone we are SURE can do it (and yes, we HAVE a name in mind). LAST, I need to allow myself the pleasure of enjoying new 'things'. I have worked hard and should not need to fight some kooky internal battle over a fridge and a couch.

What does this all mean? It means that I need to Spring Clean myself internally and enjoy life while I can. So many sicknesses and deaths have come to my awareness lately. I need to embrace the here and now so I won't regret it in the future. Hey, folks, help keep me in check.

Stuff

Things you own end up owning you. ~ Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

For months (probably longer in reality) I have been griping about our refrigerator. The pieces inside have been steadily breaking, limiting our ability to store all of our food (and see what needs to go before it turns a revolting shade of green). Thanks to the wonderfully salty air (which has an intoxicating, fabulous scent) there are spots of rust developing on the exterior doors. The side-by-side layout severely limits storage. Need I say more? Finally we gave in and embarked on a trek "up the beach" to purchase a new appliance. In the "real world" this would (at least I envision that it would) be a much easier process. For us living in our remote island paradise, this is somewhat of an ordeal. First we stopped at Sears. Our Sears is not a vast department store. Our Sears is smaller than most "real world" pharmacies, crammed with limited models of stoves, washers, dryers, dishwashers, lawn mowers, and tv's. There may be a few tools...can't be sure since tools confuse me....therefore, I avoid them. We checked out the models, but also wanted to check out the Home Depot. To make a long story short (if you can believe that coming from me), we liked one model there. Here was the "kicker".....delivery to our village consists only of "curb side" service. For almost $70, we could pay for someone to deliver the fridge to the yard. Perhaps this wouldn't be such an issue if the home in which we live wasn't 9-10ft off the ground to prevent flood damage. They weren't sure exactly who would service the appliance if there was a problem. Yes, we left Home Depot. On our way back to Sears we stopped off at a furniture store to look at some couches. Our present couch was purchased 13 years ago after Hurricane Emily ruined our old one (this was prior to our "house raising"). I ADORE this couch. It's long, comfy, beautiful and it was one of the first pieces of furniture I bought. The past few years (cough - since the children - cough) have not been good for our sleeper sofa. It has been stained from the illegal drinks and snacks that always find their way into the living room (despite the fact that the grown-ups in the house forbid their entry to the living room and the children NEVER take illegal items into the living room....must be the Boogie Dog or the Dryer Monster - except the Dryer Monster's diet, to my knowledge, is exclusively socks). There are tears from its use as a trampoline (although the children do not do this). I would love to have it reupholstered, but THAT is just as expensive as a new couch. I have never been a fan of leather furniture. I am constantly cold and prefer furniture that can surround me in comfort and warmth. Leather does not accomplish this for me. HOWEVER, after describing our lifestyle to the saleswoman, she convinced us that the leather sofa was the way to go. She listed several things that could be simply "wiped up".....when she mentioned sun lotion, I immediately pictured the sun lotion that is hidden on the underside of one of the cushions. I don't think she was pushing us in this direction for the commission, either. The other furniture we were eyeing would have added up to a comparable sale. Our new sofa (without a sleeper) will arrive in two weeks. I get too attached to "things". I honestly teared up when I thought about having to get rid of the couch I love. It IS a wreck. The slip cover looks awful on it. BUT I LOVE IT!!! I was the same way when we sold my green Honda (the first car I bought) because we knew we needed something bigger when Son was on the way. I literally cried when we handed the car over to its new owners. This new sofa will fit our lifestyle and will definitely improve the look of our living room, BUT I am so sentimental.....I will miss that old guy.

I know, I STILL haven't finished the fridge story. I'll get right back to it....but first I have to analyze the situation even more and divulge my freakiness. When shopping, I have no qualms about walking into Limited Too and plunking down hard-earned cash for Daughter's wardrobe. Perhaps it's because I enjoy buying for her and like seeing her in the clothes she loves (and maybe living a bit vicariously through her since I did not get to shop exclusively at the "popular stores" while growing up). In contrast, it honestly puts my stomach in knots when I am buying large ticket items for the house. All day yesterday I was on the verge of vomiting. We are paying cash for these items so it's not like we are getting into debt (further is more like it). I AM constantly complaining about how I feel we live like "trash". I guess part of it is that there are other projects I want done in addition to these new purchases and I want those done too. Our linoleum is torn in the kitchen....I want tile. The upstairs remodeling has been on hiatus for a LONG time. I want it DONE. I know that these new things will upgrade our present life, though. I WILL not curse the fridge every day. I will not pine away for a nicer looking couch when I enter the living room. I just need to accept these changes and quit worrying and stressing over things so they don't run my life!!! Easier said than done. I will, at this point return to the fridge story because I could easily sit here ALL day and perseverate on how I became so freakin' anal about things and such a worrier. Unless I totally had myself fooled in the past, I was not like this earlier in my life. This obsessive freakishness has somehow invaded and taken over the person who used to be able to sit and stare at Lifetime Television for an entire weekend whether the laundry was done or not!

Back to Sears. The fridge we liked best was a close-out model. Stainless (something else I didn't think I wanted). There are a few "dings" in the door (ok Luscious, I never claimed to be as anal as you - smiles). I can live with the dings for a few reasons. 1. $400 discount....making the price less than the "white" model 2. Son would probably ding the fridge anyway. 3. I really like the "layout" of the interior. And guess what else? Sears will service the fridge in our paradise AND for less than $10 more than Home Depot they will bring the thing INTO my house in paradise!!! The new fridge will be here next week so Hubby won't have to suffer through the "I hate this *7%4!@ fridge!" mantra anymore. I'm sure I will replace it with some other obsessive chant. At least I am aware of my quirks....I may not embrace them and am certainly not proud of them, but they are what make me the person I am. Love it or leave it.

SURPRISES OF THE DAY: selecting items that I have "opposed" for quite some time (stainless steel and leather)
NON-SURPRISES OF THE DAY: shedding tears for my couch; nausea over spending the money even though these are HOME IMPROVEMENTS that will ultimately bring me pride in my home

THE BEST PART OF THE DAY: going to Ethel's house and drowning my obsessions with the bootleg recipe for AppleBee tini's....too bad for Ethel and Mrs. Karaoke King (who came over, too) who had to hear me verbally analyze all this drivel (thanks, ladies!). Did I mention that our local liquor store does NOT carry regular apple liqueur? We had to go to the ABC store "up the beach" to find it. Don't worry you local ladies, I bought two bottles and have us covered for a bit! ALSO....the book club is a "go"! Poker be damned!

Combatting Poker

No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance. ~ Confucius

I don't remember how or when it began, but at some point in time Hubby, Fred, and Karaoke King started a weekly Wednesday night poker ritual. Don't stand between Hubby and the door on Wednesday night around 8 because you are certain to get run over as he rushes to depart. There are other guys involved in the weekly event and it has only been on one occasion where the women-folk were allowed to attend. No, I do not know how to play poker nor do I necessarily want to learn how to play poker so I can compete for money with my friends. However, I DO miss seeing the poker widows. We used to get together AT LEAST monthly. Now that the poker aficionados see each other on a regular basis to gamble, grunt, and share in male bonding, the families basically don't get together anymore. Yes, there are other factors: work, children, yadda yadda yadda. Nonetheless, we girls deserve an evening out to bond as well. All of us enjoy reading. I know that I rarely take the time to read for pleasure anymore. I don't think I have read a "grown up" book since January!!! There was a time when I read a book each weekend! Considering each of these dilemmas, I think we are going to try to form a very informal book club. It would kill several birds with one stone: 1. increase "girl time" 2. increase our pleasurable reading 3. give us a "reason" to get together. If any of you have any suggestions for how to get something like this going or have any suggestions for great books, please leave a comment. :0)

SPRING Break?!

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unneccessary freezing of water. ~ Carl Reiner

It is April 7th. I live in North Carolina at the beach. We have seen snow today. What in the world is up with THAT?