Retiring a Legend

The bond between a man and his profession is similar to that which ties him to his country; it is just as complex, often ambivalent, and in general it is understood completely only when it is broken: by exile or emigration in the case of one's country, by retirement in the case of a trade or profession. - Primo Levi

Beware....drunken ramblings ahead. My points are gone due to excessive drinking and eating. However, it was well worth it. Tonight Ethel, Lucious, Hubby and I attended the retirement party of one of the truly talented teachers in the world. Braxton Hall is by far the absolute best teacher I have ever encountered in my years as a student. I was fortunate enough to have him for homeroom several times in high school, but even more significant were the classes I took with him. In that arena I was challenged to think for myself while learning the key elements of the democratic system. He expected nothing less than our absolute best. I have many fond memories of Mr. Hall. I still have difficulty referring to him by his first name to his face. I was an extremely shy student. Those of you who know me, go ahead and scoff...I am quite different among people I do not know. He insisted that I come to National Honor Society inductions when I refused because I did not want to be displayed in any way, shape, or form in front of my peers. Why do I question this behavior in my daughter? He called my home numerous times after my mother exposed me. I finally went to school the next day after many phone calls from both him and another teacher. I also remember that even though I had a wonderful grade point average in his class, I was never awarded the coveted academic award for his class....that went to those who were willing to take a chance and really express their ideas in class. He is truly an asset to the students of Hatteras Island and I only wish he could teach my children. He is planning to "double dip" and return in the fall....collecting both retirement and salary..I only hope he stays as long as it takes to teach at least my daughter. He had a send off any teacher woud be envious of....singing, speeches....a true honor. Good times. Excellent send off!

Sh..Sh...Shush!!!

Let me tell you about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive Sh! Now, I have a whole bag of Sh! with your name on it. - Dr. Evil

Thus begins a small bitch fest. I say small, but as I proceed it just may expand into an all-out bitch fest. Consider yourself forewarned. As I have stated previously, I have joined a cult known to many as Weight Watchers. No, I do not think I am huge; I just need some discipline in my relationship with food so that I can shed the 10-15 pounds that I accumulated during my post-second-baby period through the grad-school-era. The holidays in NO WAY facilitated any weight loss, ensuring that my favorite jeans....my skinny jeans that are a size smaller than all my others...do not fit. The Cult also enables me to bond with some of my favorite friends. What could be better? Friends and food discipline....a fabulous combination. Since my initial weigh-in I have lost 3 pounds and can now fasten the skinny jeans even though I still have the "muffin-top" effect when wearing them. I am exercising more and basically striving to live a healthier life. My competitive nature paired with my loathing of failure keeps me focused. Having the friends along helps, too. We have become a tad bit boring, though, with most of our conversations connecting to points and pounds in some way. ANYWAY...this is not the reason for the bitch fest. I do not mind sharing my weight loss with my fellow Cult members in our private little group. I will discuss it openly and honestly in the proper forum. However (here it comes) there is this one woman whom I have known casually for a few years. She is in the Jazzercise class I take. She, too, is a Cult member. I have no reservations about revealing my loss with her, but I am disturbed by HOW she asks and WHERE she asks. She missed the meeting on Thursday so I did not have a chance to talk with her then. Today was the first time I had an opportunity to see her. I walk into Jazzercise class....where I am comfortable with all the people....and she immediately inquires about how I did. No problem...I told her that I did fine and that I had lost. Well, that wasn't good enough. She persisted until I told her the exact loss. By then everyone was listening. One of the Cult weighers is in the class, too. When I joined, I fibbed a bit about my height....I did not want to risk being turned away because I KNOW I need to lose some weight (it really didn't matter all that much...I still qualify with my more appropriate height range). This tidbit of info has now been shared with the class AND THE WEIGHER! Rather than stopping there, she continued! "Well, you lost quite a bit last week, didn't you?" AS IF MY LOSS WASN'T SIGNIFICANT!!! "No, actually I lost less last week." Was that good enough for her?! NO!! She had to know what I had lost the week before! "Well, that equals 3." What a mathematician!!! Then she went into this lecture that I am not losing more because I am not eating the right amount of points BECAUSE OF THE HEIGHT THING! The height thing has become part of the weekly Jazzercise conversation repetoire. I informed her that I WAS eating my points because the points corresponded to weight and had nothing to do with HEIGHT. Enough already!!! I don't know why I am so offended because I really do not mind divulging the loss. I guess it's because I feel like my weight issues have become everyone's. So, there it is. Bitch fest finito.
PS - Miss Terie: This is the "SIX, YES, SIX" lady.

Spirit Fingers for the Hoyas

But the truth is that the (duke) student section is really the world's largest group of people who spent high school being beaten up and getting their lunch money stolen. -- Adam Lucas

Another super day, even though housework was involved! Beautiful weather, Jazzercise, beach walk (not as spectacular as yesterday, but still gorgeous...esp. considering it is January), time to begin a book, and THE HOYAS, an unranked team, DEFEATING DUKE!!!!!!! That eases the misery of my constant hunger today! Heading off for dinner with Clem, Clementine, and their children....food and drinks: two of my favorite things BESIDES DUKE LOSING!!!!

Life's Simple Pleasures

The three great elemental sounds in nature are the sound of rain, the sound of wind in a primeval wood, and the sound of outer ocean on a beach. – Henry Beston

How exactly did I live for the past two years? Maybe the answer lies in the word ‘live’. I think the past two years were spent ‘existing’. I was able to take today off from school. I used to go to every teacher workday. I had so much to do in my classroom and looked forward to spending the day cavorting with the grown-ups. Now I find myself wanting to avoid as many as possible. Not due to the camaraderie…hanging out with my school friends is one of the best parts of the job. Instead, I tend to want a day of lounging and spending time with my family. Today, conditioned to get up early, I went to a Jazzercise class, checked out a book from the library (I think I read about it on Hippy’s Chick’s blog – The Mermaid Chair…I will let you know what I think), and strolled on the beach with Hubby and Finley. Nothing compares to the sound of the ocean. Except for when I was at UNC, I have always lived near the ocean and cannot see myself ever living far from its salty scent and the melodic sounds it produces. This morning, in addition to the serene lapping of the waves, we were privy to other magnificent products of Mother Nature. We collected a bounty of shells….some of which we donated to Ethel so she could whip up one of her artistic wonders to sell in her gallery…and even found some amazingly beautiful purple starfish. As if that wasn't enough, we were witness to a dazzling display of dolphin antics. It is quite common to see dolphin dorsal fins breaking the surface of the ocean while strolling along the beach, but today they were jumping completely out of the water! Simply wonderful!!! It is only early afternoon and I have already had a fantastic day. Smiles!

Soapbox Aborted

That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another. ~Adlai Stevenson

If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it. - Pierre Beaumarchais

While driving home from school with Daughter yesterday, I began to step onto the proverbial soapbox to blast the music of today for my next blog entry. This was prompted by a song entitled Laffy Taffy by D4L. No, this genius of the music world is NOT singing about the chewy candy that so many of us know….he is using it to refer to some part of the human anatomy. The refrain is so intellectually stimulating: “Gurl shake dat laffy taffy Dat laffy taffy Shake dat laffy taffy Dat laffy taffy Gurl shake dat laffy taffy Dat laffy taffy Dat laffy taffy[candy gurl] Dat laffy taffy.” Not so bad. Kids like that type of beat, not to mention the reference to Laffy Taffy. However, as I listened to the lyrics, I adopted a frequency often used by Edna Garrett on the Facts of Life shrieking, “What?!” I KNOW I just didn’t hear what I think I heard! God bless the Internet and the ability to obtain song lyrics at the drop of a hat. Indeed I HAD heard what I thought I had heard: “Gurlz call me Jolly Rancher Cuz i stay so hard You can suck me for a long time.” Now I am no prude, but YIKES! That song was GONE! My fault for straying from Radio Disney and venturing into the hip tunes of late on 20 on 20 on the XM.

You may have noticed at the outset of this entry that I used the word ‘began’ when I mentioned stepping upon the soapbox. It seems that I have succeeded in blasting the Laffy Taffy song quite well, but read on. I am not content to listen to just one station when I listen to the radio or the XM. Much to the chagrin of Hubby, I constantly search for a better song, evaluating all of my options before selecting just one. While searching for the perfect tune, what did I find? You’ve got it Laffy Taffy! My mind wandered back to exactly how I could blast this vulgar music that is so popular today. Then, I selected the 90’s station on the XM. YAY! A fun song that my college friends and I adored! I traveled back in time to my days at UNC while listening to Bel Biv Devoe’s Do Me. Momentarily forgetting the 10 year old in the backseat, I chimed in with the lyrics that are ingrained in my head: “Backstage, underage, adolescent, Fine she replied, I like to do the wild thing….” Wait a minute! This is nasty! An epiphany! I am beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt certain that back in the 90’s some parent was cursing the music that I was now using as a vehicle to reminisce about my youth. Conclusions: Sadly, I have become an adult (OK, I knew this before, but I don’t like being reminded). There will always be musicians that pen questionable lyrics that are embraced by youth while scorned by adults. Yes, deep thoughts, indeed.

How Do I Love Thee

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever. - Rabindranath Tagore

Today is Hubby's birthday. Let's see...how have I almost ruined it thus far? I have made a disasterous cake. I tried to make one of those 4-point per slice cakes with the diet cola so we could be festive yet ever so thoughtful of our meticulous point calculations since the first Cult Weigh-In is tomorrow night. Rather than settle for the regular 9" x 13" pan, I had to be grander and bake it in a bundt pan. Mistake! Some of the cake would not come out of the pan. I scraped it off and tenderly attempted to graft the scraps to the cake. Not so pretty. This cake does not use frosting. Instead, again to preserve the points, it is topped with whipped topping because that adds no points. In my panic, I tried to top it before the cake cooled. The result? An ugly cake with melted whipped topping. I put the cake in the refrigerator to both cool it and hide it since the light in there has burned out.

Attempt to ruin the birthday #2 has been thwarted by Ethel. This is basically an addendum to the Puppy Saga. As Christmas approached, I had to buy Hubby gifts in case the puppy did not materialize. No problem considering the fact that his birthday was closing in. Either way I was safe. As you know, the puppy became a sure thing. Ethel needed a gift for someone so I let her give the gift I had bought for Hubby to the other person. Time eluded all of us and, as of yesterday, the gift was not re-purchased. Although slightly panicked, this ended up being a blessing in disguise because the gift would have dashed all regard to Cult Points. Talking with Hubby yesterday revealed an even better idea for a gift. Ethel had to go to Virginia today and was able to replace the original gift with the even better gift! YAY! She has even been able to deliver it to me before Hubby has gotten home. So, even though the cake is a bust, the gift rocks...literally! The puppy and the Cult have inspired him to walk on the beach daily and I truly hope he loves his new MP3 player as much as we all love him.

I met Hubby through Ethel while I was on vacation in Hatteras when I was thirteen. I had an immediate crush on him. During my last year in New Jersey he and I often wrote letters to keep in touch...he did not know about my secret crush and often wrote about his girlfriend, The Funk (no HE didn't call her that...it's how I affectionately came to know her after moving to Hatteras). It took me a bit to convince him that we were "meant to be", but it all worked out just as it should. I love him immensely and even though I have come close to botching this whole day, he would expect nothing less than my domestic imperfection.

Right now he is waiting for me to finish on the computer so he can play with his new toy. So, I suppose the birthday was a success. Daughter said the cake was delicious and he is eager to play with the toy. Yay for the chaos known as our life. It makes me crazy and puts a smile on my face simultaneously. :0)

The Cult

Enjoy life. Think of all the women who passed up dessert on the Titanic. - Unknown

I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME. – Unknown

My name is Kristin and I am a stress eater. Not only did grad school earn me new academic status, it also helped me gain extra pounds….a feature that I certainly did not factor into the picture. Grad school + the holidays = my favorite pair of jeans no longer fitting. If I was a psychic, I would predict that 2006 will be the year that goes down in history, on our dear little island, as the year we were blessed by various and sundry “big city luxuries”. One, dare I say luxury, has already hit: the phenomenon known as Weight Watchers. I am strong-willed in many respects, but I cannot prevent myself from succumbing to the sweets….if it is chocolate, it must be eaten and not only eaten, but consumed in large quantities. I have heard of people experiencing much success with the Weight Watchers program and have decided to give it a whirl. As of last night, I am an official, card-carrying, point-counting Weight Watchers neophyte. I am not alone, thank goodness. I am attending with some other wonderful women: Ethel (see the post about the puppy), Miss Terie (she requested at the outset to remain anonymous so her identity is a ‘mystery’ – hee hee, get it?), Joy (see grad school post), and Mrs. Claus (sorry, it was either that or Luscious). Again, using my wanna-be psychic powers, I see us at some point in time getting either the “evil eye” or an all out verbal reprimand for our disruptive behavior. Last night we were inappropriately giggling for a few reasons.

1. The annoying older man who was playing the role of the insufferable suck-up. He offered to hand out any and all materials and answer every question. Joy and I compared him to Tracy Flick….Reese Witherspoon’s character from the movie Election. If you haven’t seen the movie, she is an ANAL student who ruthlessly does whatever necessary to get what she wants. See the movie!!
2. Excuse my ignorance, but what is ‘aloo palak’? I know I could use an abundant array of resources to discover this answer, but I really do not feel like it. Maybe I will wait for the BIG REVEAL in week 3: how to earn activity points. I will see how many points I can earn for sitting on my tail surfing the web. For now, I will avoid ‘aloo palak’ because The Cult Starter Booklet deems this delicacy as a “3-pointer” for 1 cup….not worth trying in the latest version of Kristin’s Guide to the Universe.
3. I sarcastically told Joy that I wasn’t sure if this “counting points thing” was for me. Following her laughter, she told me what I already knew….the flex plan was created for me. She knows all too well how I will religiously calculate points, diligently record all of my intake, deduct points appropriately and then, in an obsessive compulsive manner, refigure all the numbers repeatedly. If I owned a scale I would hop on it throughout the day to see if the numbers were cooperating. Of course I took no offense….especially when she admitted that she would be doing the same thing!

And this was just our first meeting of many in our newly adopted cult. Well, I need to run…..I have some points to calculate.

Fait Accompli

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. - St. Francis of Assisi

Challenges make you discover things about yourself, you never really knew. They are what make the instrument stretch; what make you go beyond the norm. - Cicely Tyson

Although I have done more than my share of complaining and whining about the process involved in obtaining my Masters in Elementary Education, I feel it necessary to reflect on my experience as of way of reaching closure. Yes, the commencement was nearly one month ago, but it has actually taken this long to really take a good look at the endeavor. I found some quotes that really seemed to apply to my experience and felt that I needed to include both of the more meaningful ones. The first one exemplifies my career as a teacher and how my life pertaining to the classroom has evolved. As I began, in order to survive, I was able to accomplish merely what was necessary. As I gained experience, I was able to do "what was possible"....developing elaborate plans, engaging in intricate lessons, etc. The addition of grad school fully encompassed the "doing the impossible"...or at least what I viewed to be the impossible at one point in my life. Thus, the next quote. I have learned a lot about myself that I did not know prior to being a graduate student. Believe me....I went beyond what was considered the norm. What did I learn about myself? I am much more anal about academics than I thought. The student I was in graduate school was not the student I was in undergrad. One of my professors my last semester, who was worried about my health due to the exceedingly high stress levels that were glaring (even in email), advised me to trust my judgment rather than stress out trying to make sure everything was perfect for every assignment. She was confident that I had a long line of excellent GPA's and it was time to chill out. Did I have her fooled or what? Undergrad was less than stellar as far as grades. For some reason I was not as driven then as I was this time around. I am an "A" addict at this juncture. I was a woman obsessed. Being able to view my grades online at any hour of the day made me some kind of freak. I waited like a drug addict for the next "hit" (i.e. grade). I checked those grades as if I had OCD. To be honest, I did not like the person I evolved into during the last two years. I had no patience and put many of the joys in my life on hold. Suffice to say, I do not plan to engage in any official academic endeavors any time soon.

As I continue to mull this whole experience over, I begin to worry about myself. Many tokens of honor, designed to make me feel special have been heaped upon me. My school system made a big deal about the degree, as did my school. I have been showered with a multitude of congratulations from a vast array of people: family, friends, acquaintances, parents of students....the list goes on. Sometimes I feel so phony...acting as excited as the well-wisher. However, I do not honestly feel that it is that big of a deal. What is wrong with me? Reality tells me that this is a great accomplishment, but I do not feel worthy of the spoils. It is just another thing. Is it because I gave up so many things that I value in order to attain it? Is it because I didn't like the person I became during the process? I guess I need to ponder this more to finally reach closure.

Now to wander out of Depression Alley, made famous in the vignette Kristin and the Professor's Syllabus (ok....lame joke trying to evoke the image of the Potter series), I am elated that the journey is complete. Even though I am not quite experiencing the level of euphoria I expected, I am looking forward to life that is not planned and executed according to a heap of syllabi (is that right?). Better than that, I am thankful for the opportunity it gave me to bond with one of the other chicks in the program. I have been friends with Joy (remember I don't use real names) for years, but this hellish experience solidified our friendship even more....plus gave me someone to blame for the negative repercussions since it is all her fault that I started the program in the first place. I curse her and thank her simultaneously. Don't worry....she knows and shares my sense of humor and will find this to be amusing (I hope). We had a super time at graduation and have already planned on other ways to anally fill the void that once was filled by grad school. With that, I am done with this post. Thoughtful, yet somewhat depressing, I am sure. Sorry for the downer...maybe getting the negative out will allow me to revel in the glory I should be feeling. :0)

Rich for 2006

"My friends are my estate."- Emily Dickinson

What I lack in financial abundance is multiplied infinitely within my circle of friends. For me, this is more satisfying than material riches [although I would welcome those as well :0) ]. I live, as I have said, in a small, beach town and am married to a native of the area. His family has deep roots in this area and I am fortunate to live in one of the older homes in the community. The house (providing the backdrop for the picture of Hubby's grandparents) is at least 85 years old and, interestingly enough, portions of the house (the original sections) were built with timbers from ship wrecks. Numerous renovations and additions have been made over the course of the years in order to accommodate the various family members who have made this house a home. Hubby and I have lived here for 13 delightful years, adding our own personal touches....enlarging the kitchen, adding an interior staircase so the second level would be part of the living space, remodeling the bathroom, sheetrocking bedrooms, painting, etc. We have weathered many storms, including being flooded in 1993 by Hurricane Emily. It is somewhat challenging to live in an older home at times: lack of closet space, uneven floors, walls that are not square, but we embrace these charming characteristics and are proud to be able to reside in a home with such heritage, especially with the incredible number of mammoth homes being built to support the tourist industry. Many older homes have been razed so that "outsiders" can build and rent extravagant homes on the properties where only memories of these homes now exist. We are devoted to our home and plan to preserve it throughout our lifetime. We hope that we are able to instill the same amount of pride in our children so that they will understand the uniqueness of our home and do whatever they can to continue to preserve this part of their heritage for future generations as well. Lofty goals, to say the least. In addition to our home, we are blessed with an incredible circle of friends. Enter the quote cited at the beginning of the post. My cozy home is never more charming and radiant than when it is filled with our friends and family. It is when we are entertaining that our humble abode morphs into a true estate, filled with tantalizing food, a cacophony of laughter, the wildness of the many children we have, and the warmth of genuine friendship. No, at this house we do not entertain on the level of Martha Stewart. In fact she would be quite horrified to see the paper plates and plastic utensils that are the standard for our get-togethers. These get-togethers are often impromtu and require more cleaning than I would like (I am not June Cleaver by any means), but yield the greatest of outcomes. On New Year's Eve Eve Hubby and I, not having any plans, decided to assemble the group for a "laid back" gathering at our home. Bidding farewell to 2005 and welcoming 2006 among friends in our home seemed like the perfect way to celebrate. Plans were quickly made and phoned invites were extended. The evening was just perfect. Everyone fell into their typical spots: kids dominating the front of the house, at times rushing quickly through the adult congregation in the kitchen and side porch. Ethel and Fred brought their new puppy so puppy play provided much entertainment throughout the evening. Oysters were roasted and slurped down on the porch...mostly consisting of the "men folk" while the rest of the crowd gathered around the kitchen table that was filled to capacity with a variety of appetizers. One of the highlights of the evening was when the police set up a road block in the town triangle (no, not a square) visible from my kitchen. It was our very own episode of Cops live. Please remember that we do live in a small town. Son, who is four, was found at one point yelling, "Hey, cops!" from our porch. What respect for authority at such an early age. (drip drip goes the sarcasm) Clem, Clementine, and their children had to drive through it in order to get home. With morbid curiosity we dimmed the kitchen lights to get a better view. Predicatably, the Bad Boys melody was sung as they approached the checkpoint. Fortunately they were able to pass with no difficulty. Shortly before midnight the group left the comfort of the kitchen to settle in front of the tv to watch the ball drop. Fred was asleep in the recliner and his six-year-old daughter was snuggled up in slumber on the couch. The ball dropped in traditional fashion and we welcomed in the new year engulfed in the vast richness to which I have become accustomed while living in this quaint town in my massive estate created by the love of friends and family. Cheers to 2006! Cheers and love for all the friends and family that bless me with a wealth that cannot ever be equalled or surpassed by material or monetary possessions!