Turkey Break

The family should be a closely knit group. The home should be a self-contained shelter of security; a kind of school where life’s basic lessons are taught; and a kind of church where God is honored; a place where wholesome recreation and simple pleasures are enjoyed. ~ Billy Graham

Break is over, unfortunately. I was able to put the National Boards on the backburner for a bit....until tonight when the reality of life started gnawing at me. The day before Thanksgiving, the kids and I took advantage of the warm, sunny weather and took a stroll on the beach. We soaked in the warmth of the rays, took fun pictures, and enjoyed each other's company. I am thankful for my family and the opportunity to spend wonderful days with them. :0)

BTW.....How can I put the pics where I want them instead of lined up in an ugly, uncreative fashion?!

Trivial Pursuit - 80's Edition

Cowabunga, Dude! ~ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Friday night rocked! My clan and Ethel's clan went over to the Karaoke King's palace for an evening of laughter, drinks, snacks, and Trivial Pursuit! We had a fantastic time hangin' out.....it wouldn't have been any less enjoyable even if we HAD lost the game....but boy was winning SWEET!

Zombie

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. ~ Charlotte Bronte

I tossed and turned, tossed and turned, AND tossed and turned. Then I was hot. Then I was itchy. Finally, I dozed off for a short nap before my eyes popped open at 3:15. It was that "pop open" that immediately lets you know that there is NO way you are going back to sleep any time soon. There was nothing acceptable on tv (and I will watch some garbage) so I got up and worked on the Social Studies lesson I am going to teach for the National Boards. For my lesson (which must feature artwork linked to Social Studies as well as demonstrate that I have created a classroom community where everybody gets along and problem-solves) the students (in small groups - another requirement of this lesson) will create campaign artwork and a slogan to try to get a character from a book elected to represent our class in the 2nd grade election. I searched for campaign posters, bumper stickers, magnets, bags, buttons, etc. from several elections and created a PowerPoint asking the students to observe the features of these campaign items (prominent name, year, slogan, colors, pictures, etc.). I also created a worksheet to help guide them through the creation of their artwork. They will get to choose whichever medium they would like to campaign for their candidate. I hope the video of this lesson turns out well. I'm putting all my eggs in this basket for right now so it better pay off!!! I finished my work and went back to bed at 6:30. I AM SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL TODAY!! I was able to sleep until 8:30 when the rest of the free world felt that it was acceptable to call: two telemarketers and the children's dentist to confirm Daughter's appointment for next week. I wanted to scream, but I guess I needed to start the day. I'll pull my hair out if I can't sleep tonight. I am not one of those people that can exist without enough sleep. I become even nastier than usual [beat you to the insult, Hubby ;-) ] and have even less patience than normal. Already I feel as though I spent last night out partying when I merely spent a quiet evening at home....well, as quiet as a house can get with two kids who are treading on each other's nerves.

Starfall.com

It's my special dot com. ~ Son

Luscious reminded me recently of a site that I had found during grad school. Now that Son is at that "learning to read" phase, it's perfect. Today I told him that I was going to tell his teacher about it. He balked because...."It's my special dot com." Luscious and I were on the phone when this all went down and we both giggled. I wanted to make sure I remembered it so I figured I'd blog about it. If you have a child who is learning to read, check it out....but don't tell Son....you know why: it's his special dot com. ;0)

Asshole

I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole am I. But there' no bigger asshole than a GD Lambda Chi. ~ frat boys singing outside the Lambda Chi house btwn. '88-'92

Last night Luscious and I were scurrying across the parking lot between the Four Seasons Mall and the Sheraton. It was in the 40's and neither of us were wearing coats....who wants to tote a coat around the mall?! We had to spend more time outdoors because I had forgotten to take my phone charger into the hotel and we had to get it out of the car before both of our phones were dead. I didn't know where the vehicle was parked since I had had the joy of waiting with the bell man (def. not boy) with our stuff while she parked the day we arrived. On our way to the gas-guzzling SUV (pointed out to us at a gas station on the way here by some guy in a minuscule car aka DEATH TRAP), we spied a parking spot quite close to the entrance of the hotel. As per Luscious's instructions, I ran to the empty spot (in heels, mind you) and stood in it so nobody could park in it. Before she could reach me, a chick in a car pulled up wanting my space. I yelled to her that someone was coming. Her response: I don't care. I smiled and stood my ground hoping she wouldn't mow me down to get the coveted spot. Rather than maim me, she called me an asshole and angrily drove away. Fortunately, Luscious was right behind her. I was afraid she might come back and (to quote Stevie - Ethel and Carolina will get this one) "kick my ass". Yes, it was an asshole move....but today will be much sweeter when we have to get all of our crap to the car. Not only did we bring a bunch of stuff....but we've acquired MORE!!! Yay for a successful trip!!!

PROCRASTINATION

He's looking so geeky he couldn't even get into a science-fiction convention. ~ Red Dwarf

BUT she's just geeky enough to present at the North Carolina Science Teacher's convention! I have so much to do that I am procrastinating by sitting in front of this screen. We present tomorrow. What's done? The PowerPoints. My clothes are in a bag (NOT IRONED - Luscious will have hives over that one!) Not done:
* all the supplies are not gathered and packed
* the hand-outs are not copied
* the links to the documents have not been uploaded to my school web site (didn't know I had that one, did you?)
* my plans are not printed nor are the materials lined up in my typically anal fashion
* there isn't enough gas in my car for me to get to work
* Son's turkey project (due Fri., but has to go w/me today) is still wet with glue even though I glued it on Monday. OK...maybe I squeezed a lot on there BUT the hot glue would not adhere to the Fun Foam so I was left with Elmer's Glue All. Let me tell you.....Elmer's Glue All does not want to glue potpourri onto Fun Foam. I guess I should take a picture and post it here....maybe that can be another form of procrastination. If this turkey pic DOES materialize, please keep in mind that I must glue the eyes on at school. The wiggle eyes that I have here just aren't the right size. Just like everything else, I am anal about family projects. Poor Son has to get up and explain how he made it with his family. I can just hear it now, "My mom cut and glued and yelled for all of us to stay away from it." I can't have some junky lookin' stuff representing OUR family!
Did I mention that I have to teach until 2? I hope this stuff gets done! Yet, here I sit as if some fairy is going to do all this crap. Let me go photo the gooey turkey and think about getting in the shower so we can possibly get out the door with only a minimum of yelling.

Another Post?! Moments After the Rock-Bottom Bi-Polar Plunge?

Dad always said that laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died from tuberculosis. ~ Jack Handey

Before I closed e-blogger, I checked my list of posts and found some that I had never completed and/or posted for one reason or another. I don't know why I never published the one I found in May 2007 entitled The Upside of May. Maybe b/c it was a few sentences short of being complete. Well, it's done now AND posted. Above all, it made me smile....just what I needed after the wrist-splitter (JUST JOKING....it's called sarcasm) I composed a little while ago. Proves that life at work without Luscious just won't be the same.

Insecurity

That's why actors can take on other lives, because I think basically, at the bottom of everything, they are insecure people. They don't feel themselves to be bright and beautiful, or necessarily beloved. So they're always looking for it. And as long as they are looking for it, they work at their best capacity. So in that way, their insecurity feeds their talent. ~ Anjelica Huston

I do not believe that actors own the market on insecurity. I possess no acting talent unless one considers the farce I live each and every day of my life. I think that it would shock some people (at least the ones that do not know me well) to know that I constantly question everything I do and basically think I never measure up. I worked myself up into such a frenzy yesterday that I literally ended up with a stomachache (is that ulcer finally materializing?). I had a standard first-quarter conference with Son's kindergarten teacher scheduled for 2:45. Even though he's had excellent papers and positive comments on every progress report, I was terrified that I was going to hear some horribly negative information that would reflect on my poor parenting skills. I had braced myself for Daughter to bring home a less than stellar 6th grade report card. She is very independent these days and I really don't see any work and middle school just doesn't communicate with parents the way elementary school does. A poor report card would not only affect how her new administrators and teachers viewed her, it would reflect on my inept parenting. Sad how in my mind all of these things revolve around me. Not only that, yesterday the teachers who turned in their National Board materials in March found out their results. Out of all the candidates from the island, only one earned it. I was so tense waiting for THEIR results. For someone like me who questions her every move, all I could think all day was, "What the hell am I doing?!" I constantly think about National Boards. I dream about it and I cannot block it out of my mind. It is Saturday morning and the sun hasn't even risen and I am persevering about it. My stomach is churning and I am on the verge of tears thinking about how horrendous it will be to open that site next year and find out that my insecurities have become reality. Is it normal to be so negative? Is it normal to always think that everything I do is never good enough even when I have written proof professing the opposite (grades, evaluations, compliments, etc.)? Case in point: I turned in my Entry 4 (Accomplishments and Contributions - or something to that effect) rough draft to our local facilitator at our last county Nat. Board (NB) meeting. She returned it this week with many positive comments. She was impressed with my accomplishments and said it was well-written. Could I even accept this? No. Even though this chick has gotten certified herself and has been selected to be the county facilitator (serving in this capacity for quite some time), I initiated a frantic questioning of other people as to whether or not they find her to be valid. I am STILL not confident that it is decent and not sure at all that the "accomplishments" I've listed are worthy. I have debated in my mind why I am reacting this way. Is it because I feel that what I do is just what everyone should be doing? Is this lapse of sanity how most people feel? On my MySpace I have this stupid survey and one of the questions asks what my biggest fear is. My answer? Fear of failing. I fear failure to an obsessive degree...to the point that I can't/don't take pride in the things that I should view as accomplishments. When I receive a pat on the back, I shrug it off because I don't think I deserve it. "Yeah, that was ok, but have you seen how bad I suck at keeping my house in order?" I can combat any compliment with a negative. IS THIS NORMAL?! Nothing I ever do is good enough for me. This sounds bizarre....and I fear that I will sound like a braggart with this next comment.....BUT if I were to list my "accomplishments", give it to someone, and then get it back with someone else's name on it (this sounds totally stupid - like I wouldn't recognize my own stuff), I would think that that person was successful. With my name on it, it looks as impressive as a grocery list. Being in this NB program is turning into another grad school. It just doesn't bring out the best in me....it triggers my neuroses. Usually they are a bit more dormant....ever-present, but not as pronounced. I just can't stop myself. I even told a friend the other day that I really felt that before I finished my teaching career I would pursue another certification (no, not degree). Luscious will retire before I do and I cannot even fathom working with someone else. We complement each other so well. I cherish our friendship and working relationship. She puts up with my freakish work habits and is right beside me carrying out our elaborate ideas (even on a Friday night @ 9 o'WHAT?!). OK...off topic. The certification I am thinking about would allow me to work with a smaller group of students and would require me to collaborate with all the teachers, but I wouldn't be at one particular grade level. Yes, this could solve the dilemma I will eventually face: teaching without Luscious, BUT it will put me right back into the formal education setting. HMMM. I think I've hit a wall. I can't think of anything else to write and the "voices" are reminding me of all I need to do today/this weekend. Blogging, at the moment, is now being shifted to the "what the hell are you doing wasting your valuable time like this when you have your NB, church bazaar, filthy house, and science presentation to prepare" list. I really wish I could be more carefree so I could climb back into bed, but even if I physically do it, it won't be enjoyable because of my nagging mind. Perhaps a more apropos quote would have been:

They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

Halloween Howls

Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's prob'ly where they'll bury me ~ John Cougar Mellencamp

OK...so it is November and I haven't posted since September. Sorry. I started this "blog thing" after grad school as a way to express myself through writing since I was so accustomed to writing and basically addicted to it. Now, I am attempting to earn National Board Certification and have a lot of writing that I HAVE to do....and it keeps me quite busy. SO....please forgive my lack of attention to my blog. My writing is due March 31. Then, I have to take a written test. THEN, and this will be an enormous test in patience for me, I have to wait and wait and freakin' wait some more for the results (which won't come out until DECEMBER 2008). Only 30% of the candidates earn it the first time so I have a feeling that this will have my nerves RAW until December 2009 (after I retake the parts that I suck on). ANYWAY....enough of the pity party for now.

THE GOOD STUFF: Halloween was so much fun this year!!! The past two years Ethel and I partake of some liquid refreshments as we make our way around the neighborhood with our children (and her hubby Fred.....Hubby stays here to hand out candy). We meet and greet a large number of neighbors. We always have something to complain about. Last year it was cold. This year the mosquitoes were ferocious!!!!!!!!!! I think I was Daughter's hero when I threw some frozen beverage at a nasty child who whipped her with a jump rope about a month ago (hmm....life is always interesting with children). It was all in fun....Ethel even joined in. As much as I love going to "the real world" to shop and see what kind of things I'm "missing" by living on a barrier island, I adore where I live. Some locals took a bunch of pictures of trick-or-treaters and posted a slide show on the Island Free Press (the online news magazine for our area). It makes my heart smile to look at the pictures of all these children having a blast on Halloween. I am even more fortunate to say that I actually KNOW almost all of these people. Small town life is glorious!

btw.....Daughter and Ethel's son are in the 2nd pic on the slide show....my little darling (the amputation doctor complete with severed limb and bloody cleaver) is chopping off his head; Ethel's twin girls are in the 3rd pic; Darth Vader (several pics later) is mine....he's so "big" now that he went trick-or-treating with a friend and his family. Where does time go?