I Wanna Rock

I wanna rock! ~ Twisted Sister

First of all, I must acknowledge my 1st Blog-iversary! I have been a blogger for one year! Yay!

Christmas was delightful! I am blessed with children who sleep in and don't rise at the crack of dawn to descend upon the treasures of Santa. We began opening gifts around 9am. The kids moved right through their presents at a good pace: not too fast nor too slow. :0) Daughter and I spent the rest of the day clad in our pj's. Gotta love a day like that!! Son was dressed and out the door as quickly as possible to try out the new bike and skateboard between rain showers. He also played with the neighbor (who showed up knocking excited about his new motorized scooter BEFORE my kids were up).

The majority of the afternoon was spent rocking out with the Play Station 2 game Guitar Hero. I am not a video gamer by nature BUT I am completely addicted to this game. The neighbor kid commented, "I didn't know a teacher could rock!" I guess he hasn't seen School of Rock...hee hee. Daughter, Girlfriend, and I took turns rockin' out this game. For those unfamiliar, it is a game that comes with a guitar and the color coded "notes" appear on the screen. The songs are true rock....I Love Rock and Roll, I Wanna Be Sedated, Iron Man, More Than a Feeling, etc. and get increasingly hard. We "beat" the game on easy and are now struggling through the songs again on medium. My eyes are glassy...my arms and fingers are cramped to the point that I am having trouble typing (thank God for the backspace button). Hubby has yet to get the guitar in his hands and looks longingly at it as I grasp it tightly attempting to play Smoke on the Water. Daughter is presently screaming at it because the difficulty levels are increasing. I have a bit of an advantage since more of the songs are familiar to me and have some clue about what they are supposed to sound like. There's even a Guitar Hero II available!!! So, if you don't hear from me for a few days....it's a safe bet to assume that I'm rockin'!

UPDATE: Guitar Hero is still being played for hours at a time. What will I do next week when I can't rock each day away? Hubby and I went out to a friend's last night and when we got home I rocked out with the girls until midnight!!! BTW: Guitar Hero 2 has been ordered. I am presently downloading some of the songs from LimeWire (yes, I looked up the play list that is on GH2) so I can become familiar with the songs that are going to kick my butt.....I need to hone my skills. ROCK ON!!!

Festivus

Another Festivus miracle! ~ Kramer

It's December 23rd and that means only one thing.....Festivus! Celebrate with your loved ones and enjoy!

All is Well

Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. ~ Clark Griswold

Are you familiar with Christmas Vacation? Things around here were getting far too intense this week...similar to Clark's dysfunctional holiday celebration. If it could go wrong, it did. If it was something to induce stress, it did. We have cussed that Polar Express float like mad. The paint fiasco, racing against the deadline, trying to make everything "just right". How to get a light to shine from the front. What music would work and how would we broadcast it? How long would it take to tie shiny ribbon to the 375 tiny bells we planned to throw in complete Polar Express fashion?

Ultimately, we ended up getting all the bells tied. Burned downloaded Polar Express music on a CD was blasted through Daughter's infamous karaoke machine (sans the microphone). The girls, clad in their pj's threw candy and bells (we kept a few for the judges....hey, no harm in shamelessly trying to woo the judges). Hubby and Clem drove the truck with Son, Lil Clem, Three (the neighbor's son), and the Girl Scout Lady's son in the back. One of my male students oddly ended up in our truck, too. Weird. Clementine and I walked in front of the truck carrying a banner....Hubby really missed his chance for revenge. We had a super time! All the stress of the week vanished. Seeing the girls laughing and smiling was awesomely satisfying...the way it was meant to be. To top it all off.....WE WON! We won $250 (wait for the irony....) in the Most Community Spirit category. Good thing they didn't hear us muttering the "f-bomb" profusely in reference to the train throughout the week. Now that it's over maybe the Christmas spirit will finally enter our home. Daughter DID throw out the gords this morning. That's definitely a start.

Note to Self

Just say NO. ~ Nancy Reagan

[Weather] can be a shattering force of ruin and desolation. But it can also be a patch of soft spring sky, a pattering of rain on thirsty leaves, a witchery of fog across the hills, a silence of snow over the city.
~ Phillip Thompson

Without the burden of time grad school imposed upon my life I felt compelled to get involved in other ventures after graduating. Using my new-found time in a stress-free manner was not good enough for me. I especially felt the need to be more involved with my children since they were practically abandoned by me during that two year debacle. Having fond memories of Girl Scouting, I decided to be a co-leader with Clementine. Space was available for me to do this because her co-leader was moving away. Excited about this new adventure, I had all sorts of ideas for things to do: camping, trips, earning badges, AND the mother of them all: taking part in the local Christmas parade. I love the BOOK The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg and thought, "Hey, a train...kids in pj's....bells of Christmas." Did I think hemorrhoid? NO. Should I have? YES. Hubby has taken the brunt of this harebrained idea and Brother and Brother's Wife even took off half a day of work to assemble and paint the *&"?! train. Fortunately Clem was able to locate a train that way already made...just had to be assembled and painted. I used one of my "get out of jail free" cards to leave school half an hour early. I had to pick up more paint since the paint that was mixed at Ace was NOT the black we had requested. The gallon was $27! So, in addition to the extra workload that my simple idea has created, the financial aspect has also been a burden. I was referred to a man who wanted to make a charitable donation to scouts during the holidays. I had mentioned the float to this person and she urged me to contact him. I hate to call and beg for money. Loathe is an even better word to describe my feelings about soliciting funds for anything. I should have ditched the idea since the man made me feel like I was some sort of monster...asking for money when there were needy people this time of year. He cited other groups he continuously donated to (both of which I am well familiar with and have contributed to in the past myself) as an example of his generosity and my selfishness. I would not have made such a call had it not been for the urging of this person. So, after I hung up, ashamed, I sat in my car in front of the hardware store and cried while my daughter asked for some help with her homework (then I went into the hardware store to pick up the paint wearing my sunglasses and looking like some drug-using freak). Add this to the other responsibilities associated with this time of year: Daughter's ball practice, church events, work responsibilities, gift shopping, Daughter's birthday party, Girl Scout meetings...blah, blah, blah...and it all equals a freakishly stressed household. I keep reading Hippie's Chick's blog and seeing all of her lovely Christmas decorations (example 1 and example 2)and then look at my house that still has freakin' gords and hay under the front tree, a Christmas tree in the back of the truck, not a single trace of Christmas ANYWHERE in my home (unless you count the 2 gifts I have wrapped and stacked among clutter in my bedroom). It looks like the atheists live here - which is probably what the man on the phone would think of me anyway! Want to hear the absolute BEST part? The fog has been thick and quite prevalent lately. Paint and fog don't mix. Hubby went to our friend's driveway (where the monstrosity is being assembled) last night to check on his baby. The dampness has totally screwed up the painting we did yesterday. It was all for nothing. The fog continues to roll in. So, for today, FOG IS A SHATTERING FORCE OF RUIN AND DESOLATION. I am not one of those New Years Resolution kind of people. However, I think I may give it a try this year. Why not? It may just be the only thing I can say NO to. My theme for 2007 will be SIMPLIFY. I will keep the commitments I have since I have already agreed to them....I can't just (shudder to say it) quit. However, I resolve to say NO any new time-stealer. I resolve to keep everything I have committed to SIMPLE. No more elaborate schemes. I see others who consistently live their lives in "half-ass" mode. They receive the same spoils in life without the stress, panic, anxiety, and overall nausea that comes with being a neurotic freak. I resolve to become a half-asser.

Party Like a Rock Star

Show me what you got lil mama
Show me what you got pretty lady
Show me what you got shawty
Show me what you got baby ~ Jay-Z

On Friday night I entertained 14 girls ranging in ages from 10 to 12(?) for what is mistakenly referred to as a 'slumber party'. Daughter turned 11 on Dec. 6 and this form of revelry has become tradition. We use a friend's rental cottage....not one of the monsters. It's a quaint two bedroom place in a quiet neighborhood on a miniscule island. Sometimes in the winter Hubby and I take the kids over there for a change of scenery. It is directly on the water and typically peaceful and serene....until the 'slumber party'. This year our theme was Rock Star. We have had the Make-Over party (where the girls played with make-up, did hair nails, etc.) and the Spa Party (facials, smoothies, massages, hair conditioning, etc.) and both were a lot of fun. Girls and make-up and hair crap....guaranteed success. This year we had spray-in hair dye, make-up, hair crimping and/or staightening and/or curling, and a drink station (each drink recipe was posted in the kitchen with a trendy Tween rock star name - the traditional Shirley Temple was named The Baby V after Vanessa Hudgens; there was a Hannah Montana - blue punch and Sprite; and the Sweetah Cheetah named after the Cheetah Girls - ginger ale and vanilla). The girls love to mix up their own stuff. Upon arrival, each girl was given their gift bag with a plain plastic cup to decorate with those "bling bling" rhinestones created for cell phones. There was karaoke (thanks to a cool b-day gift), too. The dance contest that the girls organized was a sight to behold. I may have witnessed a career-in-the-making out of some of these chicks. "Oh, yes. I remember how she shook what her mama gave her (instructions given by the emcee of the dance contest) at Daughter's 11th birthday party. I saw such talent in her then. The only thing missing were the dollar bills stuffed in her panties....and the pasties."
Did I mention the drama? What tween party would be complete without it? There were more than 5 incidents involving tears over "hogging of the microphone", "too loud to sleep", "no one paying attention to singing", "snotty pants", "acting like a brat", yadda, yadda, yadda. Did I mention that I did this act of love AFTER a long week of teaching? Let's just say that by the time I encouraged "lights out" and "snuggle" up around midnight, my patience was much thinner than at 6 pm. However, not as thin as it became as the night extended into the wee hours of the morning. Between midnight and three I dealt with many issues. One of which was Truth or Dare. When I first got the tweens settled in, I completely closed the bedroom door to give the girls some privacy. After becoming aware of the attrocities being committed during Truth or Dare, I would no longer shut the door and by 2:30 the door was completely open and would remain that way for the remainder of the shin-dig. I felt I was in some demented version of Girls Gone Wild. Girls kissed (on the cheek only - or so I have been told). By the time I realized what was going on and intervened, three girls had exposed their breasts (and believe me there were sights to see) and one had completely pulled her pants down. Had I expected THIS?! NO!!!! This was quite a change from our previous parties. I did the best I could to thwart the activity without making them feel ashamed. I just told them that I didn't think nudity was appropriate and that asking others to show private areas could make people feel bad. I also asked them to think about how they would feel at school when people started talking or if they happened to see me in the hall at school. I explained that I would really feel odd having to explain this to their parents. By 3:15 when there had been verbal ugliness imposed upon the majority of the girls by a group of three girls I finally lost every last bit of patience I had. I told one girl that we could call her family if the noise level was that big of a deal (that was at one of the quietest moments of the night) and then I spoke really firmly to another one of the guests stating bluntly that I did not want to hear another peep out of her. Girlfriend spent the night, too. She is not a night owl and ended up falling asleep before midnight in the room where I was sleeping. I woke her up at least three times throughout the night. She'd sleepily ask, "Are they still up?"
"Yup."
"What are they doing?"
I'd explain the newest tragedy. With each event, she was more and more bewildered....as was I. We planned a Rock Star party. I guess we got it. Everyone was gone by 10:30 leaving me to clean up. In addition to the expected unclaimed clothing...socks, shorts, a pillow....I was delighted to find a Care Free pad under the love seat....unused thank goodness....peeled from the plastic preserving the "sticky" part. Nudity. Feminine hygiene products. Girl on girl kissing. A mother's delight. Daughter, Girlfriend, and I did have fun imitating the more dramatic events of the night (no, we did NOT expose any private parts). Overall it was fun and festive. I've heard that the girls had fun. I suppose that's what counts. Next year, however, I am going to push for an Amish theme.

Tagged

Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me. ~ Oscar Hammerstein

My friend Hippie’s Chick tagged me on her blog challenging me to respond to this. Remind me to stop commenting on blogs! JUST KIDDING! I can never resist these things even when I have responded to the same questions zillions of times. Her answers reflect her eclectic lifestyle and her affinity for fine things. My answers remind me of Roseanne Barr or Peg Bundy. :0)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

I am enticed by the spicy smell of egg nog…even the prospect of a little alcohol…however, I really do not care for the taste. It’s kind of like sushi to me (prepare for what some may consider to be a statement of pure blasphemy). I can do it, but it’s nothing I crave, need to have, or would consider my life cheated by never experiencing it again. Having said that, I guess I really do not need to detail my preference. I am a modern girl and do anything I can to cut corners in order to make more time for some other “need to do” so I generally either order elsewhere or resort to Swiss Miss. Want to hear a sad one? I went to The Dancing Turtle, a local coffee shop (which has been here for a few yrs and I only crossed the threshold THIS past week for the first time – it WON’T be my last as I have already been there twice and am addicted), for a peppermint mocha and offered a hot chocolate to Daughter. She found it to be “bitter” and “nasty”….it was quite different from the Swiss Miss she usually gets and therefore disgusting in her eyes.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or put them under the tree?

In order to preserve Santa’s precious time, we have informed him that we do not mind if he leaves them unwrapped at our house. Our children are aware of the fact that parents contact Santa to let him know our preference.

3. Colored lights on the tree/house or white?

White exclusively. Hubby and I both grew up with colored lights, but for some reason are in mutual agreement of using white only. Why? I really don’t know. Surprisingly, I don’t even think I need to spend time pondering this preference which is odd for me as I tend to overanalyze everything. Yes, I am shocking myself.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

I hung it in the house one year when I received it from a student. Otherwise, I don’t. It’s not that I don’t appreciate kisses….it’s just that I worry about what that boogie dog might do to it. I do have a fake display that was standard in my house as I was growing up. It, like many things that once lived at home, is now in my classroom. At present it is hanging from the audio enhancement system above the chair in my desk….not MY doing. So far it hasn’t yielded any kisses which is super for me. Nothing like avoiding molestation charges. I did have a close call when the principal came to my desk…..thankfully he didn’t see it and I scooted my chair out before he had a chance to spot it. Note to self: move the mistletoe.

5. When do you put your decorations up?

After Daughter’s birthday party weekend….I like to keep it separate. I think I am the only person in the free world that does not have a single decoration out….unless you count the white lights still dangling in the tree from last year….does that qualify me for the brunt of a Jeff Foxworthy joke? No, they have not been lit since last year.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?

I have a pretty one with holly leaves on it from Pfaltzgraff. Hee Hee! Just kidding! I really don’t have a “real” dish that I have to have around Christmas. I love the simple snacks (cheese & crackers and beefsticks, cookies, fudge, etc.) that we put out after church on Christmas Eve. Hubby and I (and the kids, etc.) live in the family home. His dad grew up here as did all of Hubby’s siblings. The house has always been a gathering place for the entire family. Each Christmas Eve we all go to church and gather here for snacks after the service. It’s something I look forward to every year. The snacks are not elaborate, but are guaranteed to taste delicious. It’s also when Girlfriend, Daughter, and I debut our holiday creations. For several years we have gotten together to bake cookies or make bark or something yummy. Another tradition we love. :0)

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?

I used to lie on the floor at the base of the tree with the all the lights off….except for the blinking, colored lights on the tree…and watch the patterns created by the lights and fake tree needles on the ceiling. I also remember the excitement of decorating the tree each year. Our tree had a nursery rhyme theme and it was like visiting old friends each year when it was decorating time.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

I have always believed in the magic of Santa. Generosity and love are characteristics that make the holiday what it is.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

I typically don’t. The children do, though. It’s not much of a surprise anymore, but it’s always a new pair of pajamas and a book. The new pajamas make for pretty pictures and the book helps settle us in at bedtime.

10. How do you decorate the Christmas tree?

By hand. Duh. OK, enough of the smart-ass answer. Our tree is adorned with white lights. Hubby likes a red and white tree (I guess after his favorite store – sorry, local joke…sorry for more “smart-ass”) and I have really grown fond of this scheme even though a few that don’t follow the “rules” make it in – the Babies First Christmas ones, those handmade by my inlaws, etc. We hang shiny red glass balls (yup, the cheap ones from either K-Mart or Walmart). We also hang a strand of gold beads. The majority of the other ornaments are the crocheted (?) snowflakes and angels made out of white cloth. The tree is rather “old-fashioned” looking….completely different from my childhood tree.

11. Snow. Love it or dread it?

I am not a big fan of the snow. My body temperature is similar to the outdoor temps in Antarctica….I am constantly cold. I don’t want to be out in the cold. I don’t want to miss school because we just have to make it up on a Saturday or on another day that we are scheduled to have off. I grew up with snow and DID enjoy it then. Hot chocolate, mounds of snow to dig in, sledding. My cynical adult life has altered my view of snow. I dread the snow….I feel obligated to get in it with the kids when it DOES snow, but I could do without it.

12. Can you ice skate?

I have been skating before. The talent agents ruined it for me…..surrounding me, hounding me to represent our country in competition – kinda ruined the joy of it. Fearing I’d dash the dreams of young talent, I have retired from the sport. No need to rub my expertise in the face of others. BAH! HAH! What a joke! Let’s see….intentionally go to a building where I KNOW it’s going to be cold…sure. The last time I went I was in college. I could probably be coerced into going again, but do not feel deprived by staying happily at home.

13. Favorite holiday movie?

I don’t have one. I detest A Christmas Story with that kid in the glasses. I’ve seen it, even quote the words, but I really find it annoying….esp. when it’s played for 24 hours straight….what ass thought of that?! Christmas Vacation is quite entertaining and so is Surviving Christmas with Ben Affleck. I am drawn to holiday movies with a dysfunctional family. Yes, I am warped.

I enjoy the old Christmas specials like Rudolph and the one with the Burgermeister. My FAVORITE one of those is Twas the Night Before Christmas….the animated one with the mice and the big clock.

14. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Anything chocolate…..

15. What is a favorite holiday tradition?

Christmas Eve church service @ our church followed by the get together @ my house. It wouldn’t be Christmas any other way. :0)

Preparing treats with Daughter, Son, & Girlfriend.

Delivering plates of cookies w/the sisters-in-law

16. What tops your tree?

The stuff UNDER the tree…..far better than what's on top - hee hee

An angel.

17. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving?

Giving….even though I suck at selecting good gifts. I hate to receive. It further demonstrates just how bad of a gift selector I am. The thoughtfulness of each gift I receive touches my heart and makes me sad because I do not have a knack for eliciting such a response in others. I enjoy watching others light up as they open gifts. I'd be just as satisfied on ANY holiday without a gift. The few times I HAVE succeeded in achieving “giving success” have made me feel SO good. Seeing Hubby get that puppy last year still warms my heart.

18. What is your favorite Christmas song?

O Holy Night….when sung by someone with true talent I get chills and my eyes fill up every time!!!

19. Candy canes?

Bah humbug….like sushi and egg nog – could do without, but when in sugar crisis they work.

I am supposed to tag others….if you read this, you had BETTER consider yourself tagged….if you don’t, expect coal in your stocking!

Karaoke

Only the good die young. ~ Billy Joel

Daughter doesn't know it but as I write I am listening to her sing Only the Good Die Young using the karaoke machine she received for her birthday. I am surprised to know how well she knows the words....chalk it up to a good upbringing. :0)