The Power

Make people wait for what they want, and you have power over them. ~ unknown

I honestly believe that this is the secret motto of National Board. I submitted my portfolio in March. Then, I took the written test at the assessment center. Since that time I have progressed through many stages:

1. Thank God it's over. I don't give a crap about it any longer!!!

2. Gee, I think I did a good job. I think I may just have a chance.

3. I suck! I am a loser and will not get it. (I alternate between 2 and 3 quite often depending on the level of self-loathing I am experiencing.)

4. I don't care if I ever see the damn scores now that I'm done.

5. Hmm.....aren't those scores due soon?

6. What?! November 21st? Where does it say that? How long do I have to wait? WHEN are they actually going to post the date?!

7. Is it okay to check the site for news of the release date 20 times a day? Do I need to consult professional help for OCD?

Until finally at 4:30-ish today.......

8. The date is posted. It IS tomorrow. I'm going to puke!!!

And that, my friends, is where I stand NOW! My stomach has been a bit uneasy most of the day. I am officially nauseous now. I could easily vomit. As much as I want to know, I DON'T want to know. The scores are available mid-morning tomorrow. I have sworn to myself that I refuse to look while the students are there. I remember last year how sad it was to see excellent teachers not achieve certification. Understandably, they were devastated and had to leave school. I do not want to be seen hysterical (which I'm sure I will be if the result is less than 275). BUT.....can I really make myself wait until after school? I say I can, but do I really have that much willpower? Since there are so many of us waiting, it's tricky to know how to act. How do we let our colleagues know? Joy took the day off. Kinda wish I'd done that now, but I didn't want to needlessly use a day off.....especially since I wasn't completely sure the scores WERE coming tomorrow. I also despise writing lesson plans. It's easier to be in school as opposed to writing DETAILED lesson plans explaining a day's events. So...by this time tomorrow I will know one way or another. I guess I will be back tomorrow to share my news. Until then........