I knew then that no matter how hard you tried, no matter how many jars of honey you threw, no matter how much you thought you could leave your mother behind, she would never disapppear from the tender places in you. ~ Lily Owens in The Secret Life of Bees
I am quite behind in reading the latest and greatest...most people have read this book already making me one of the last in the free world to do so. It was a fabulous story that I thoroughly enjoyed devouring. The last 30 to 50 pages were the most meaningful to me. Throughout the book the main character, Lily, is searching for clues about her deceased mother who died when Lily was merely four years old. She often looks for divine signs that prove to her that her mother loves her. On this level I truly related to Lily. As I intently read these last pages, I, myself, felt that the words were intended for me as a sign from my own mother. No, I don't think she was "speaking" to the author....I just believe that I was intended to read the words at a particular point in time, reassuring me that she is with me and sending her love. The above quote struck a particular cord. Unlike Lily who became temporarily angry at her mother at the climax of the story, I have not tried to leave my mother behind. Nonetheless, I found the quote extremely meaningful. Some days when I think of her I question whether or not I think of her every day. Initially (following her death), I thought of nothing BUT her. I was consumed. Gradually, as life evolved into its new form (since life as I had known it would never return), the majority of my thoughts no longer were devoted to her. It wasn't out of disrespect, but was the product of life moving ahead. I know I cannot think about her all day every day, but I DO want to at least think of her every day.....reliving a happy time or thinking about how she'd react to one of the stories about the grandchildren. As the days of summer have drifted by and I have finally begun to destress from the life I was living the past few years, I find myself questioning whether I DO think about her; I fear that one day I won't think of her (which I KNOW in reality is not likely - I just need something to worry about). Anyway, with this notion arising every so often, the affirming quote from Lily was a sign to me that no matter what I cannot leave her (or her memory or love) behind.
3 comments:
You know that I believe that they are always in our hearts and come to mind when we see or hear something that reminds us of them. I see bits of her in your children and in you and your brother. Mom has been gone since 1986, somedays is as if it just happened, other days a song on the radio, or a flower, or sunset will remind me of her. I see bits of her in her grandkids, and her children. They are gone from our sight, but they will never be forgotten, they are apart of who we are. Your mom would be so proud of all that you have done with your life as an educator, and especially as wife and mother, and what a true and caring friend you are. I love you and have you dusted mom lately??? R
K - i didn't read all your post in detail because i am supposed to be reading the secret life of bees for my book club. can't wait to read it and then talk about it with you! carolina
When I recommended it to you, I didn't think about how you might find a nugget of truth in it. I didn't know your mom, although I wish I had, but she must have been special because you are truly a special person in my life. Love ya!
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