Saturday, July 28, 2007

Shitty Day

Ron Burgundy: You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad, that's amazing!

Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer.

Brick Tamland: I pooped a Cornish game hen.

~ Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy

Today, rather than inspecting cottages, I cleaned 5 of them. I'm not even going to attempt to explain. Three of them were decent. One was incredibly wonderful! :0) One was a horror show. All tenants are supposed to be out by 10. I got to the hovel after 11 to find two of the tenants (cough - assholes - cough) still there. By the looks of the place (along with the female's complaints of "feeling like shit") I had walked into the remains of party central. The place was a wreck!! Double sinks filled with dirty dishes. A full refrigerator. Trash throughout the house. Sheets not removed from the bed. No trash taken out. Yuck, yuck, and more YUCK! Rather than be nice and leave, I began to clean. I had NO time for this bullshit. Part of the job requires the cleaner to look under the bed. I always HATE this part of the job because I never know what might be lurking.....I've heard of all sorts of nastiness existing under the beds and seen some pretty icky things too. Luckily I've never had the horror of finding used contraception as some people have. Well, when I looked under the first bed at this place, I found shit!!!! Turds, fecal matter, crap, poop.....whatever you want to call it!!!!! I don't know the source of the excrement....it could have been from a dog or (gag) a person, but frankly I don't care. Crap is crap!!!! What is wrong with people?!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It has to be a kindred thing, the first FF, someone of the male sex lined up nasty, smelly butt wipe paper all over the tank lid, and along the baseboard of the stall. Last Saturday, I took the head of the FF and showed her the latest and greatest mess this summer, she told me I was going to need rubber gloves to clean this one. Do not know if it was a colon rupture, or a stomach rupture, it was all over the tank lid, the tank back, the wall behind the lid and the worse part of it all is that all of this stuff was dripping all over the floor. The head FF person said it was probably a kid, God help that poor child, I think that it was a real live grown man both times that get a thrill out of knowing that when they leave a lovely present like that, that for once we have to take their crap and deal with it. I think we should get toxic waste pay. Nothing like sharing!!!!!! RA

Suzie said...

In my years of cleaning, I have dealt with some really nasty toilets but never crap under a bed. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. Missed you this am but now I know why. Take a day, take two.

Love ya!