Shitty Day

Ron Burgundy: You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad, that's amazing!

Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer.

Brick Tamland: I pooped a Cornish game hen.

~ Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy

Today, rather than inspecting cottages, I cleaned 5 of them. I'm not even going to attempt to explain. Three of them were decent. One was incredibly wonderful! :0) One was a horror show. All tenants are supposed to be out by 10. I got to the hovel after 11 to find two of the tenants (cough - assholes - cough) still there. By the looks of the place (along with the female's complaints of "feeling like shit") I had walked into the remains of party central. The place was a wreck!! Double sinks filled with dirty dishes. A full refrigerator. Trash throughout the house. Sheets not removed from the bed. No trash taken out. Yuck, yuck, and more YUCK! Rather than be nice and leave, I began to clean. I had NO time for this bullshit. Part of the job requires the cleaner to look under the bed. I always HATE this part of the job because I never know what might be lurking.....I've heard of all sorts of nastiness existing under the beds and seen some pretty icky things too. Luckily I've never had the horror of finding used contraception as some people have. Well, when I looked under the first bed at this place, I found shit!!!! Turds, fecal matter, crap, poop.....whatever you want to call it!!!!! I don't know the source of the excrement....it could have been from a dog or (gag) a person, but frankly I don't care. Crap is crap!!!! What is wrong with people?!

What a Long Strange Trip It's Been

"I have found there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them." ~ Mark Twain

"If you come home as happy as you leave, you have had a good vacation." ~ unknown

One quote just wouldn't do it. Last night I returned from a business/pleasure trip from Washington, DC. I left last Friday, June 29 with Luscious, Vera, and Big Cheese (the principal), and MJ (another teacher). It was a good trip there. I am used to going places with Luscious and Vera, but have never traveled much with Big Cheese or at all with MJ. Overall, the experience was far better than I had envisioned. Enough said. The horror, though, began trying to navigate through DC. Coming from our neck of the woods and having to adjust to the busy city streets that run in all sorts of differing directions, run one way, have DO NOT ENTER signs designated by times of day.....whew! Once we hit the area, it should have taken us a SHORT amount of time to get to our hotel......unfortunately we ran circles around that place. MJ was calling family members familiar with the city to give us directions and yelling out the window for help. Vera was excited when she saw a street vendor selling a Chanel bag that she wanted. Big Cheese, MJ, and Luscious had to check in. The 7pm registration deadline for that day was approaching so I went in, leaving Vera at the car, to go get all of our "stuff"....you know, all the bags, books, and pens you get at a conference. They would only let me get my "stuff" so I ran out to get the others. None of them were back so I had Vera pretend to be Luscious and get that packet. MJ showed up so she got hers. Big Cheese was a bit miffed that we hadn't gotten his, but we couldn't pretend to be him. By the time we got there and got settled, we were in need of teas from Long Island. The highlight of the evening was the bug suspended in Luscious's drink. Of all the people in the world to end up with a bug in her drink it HAD to be Luscious! Also arriving that night were Ethel and her three and Daughter. They were staying at another hotel that was only a short distance away.....in theory. We didn't get together with them that first night since it was pretty late in the evening and none of us were in the mood to leave our destinations......Ethel even had the luxury of using a friend's GPS (renamed RAC by the children after it annoyed them with its Kathryn Hepburn-like voice.....btw, RAC stands for Recalculating Alcoholic Chatterbox - the "alcoholic" part is a bit of a joke with our children who think that we are alcoholics b/c we occasionally partake of the drink) but still got turned around since DC has "right turns", "slight right turns", "sharp right turns" - EESSHHH! Day one was basically for travel, frustration, laughter, and bed.

On the 30th the business part of our trip had us in class all day from 9-4. I woke up kind of early and went for a walk to Starbucks. I am not a big coffee fiend, but I do enjoy a flavor-filled, creamy coffee every now and then. I was proud of myself for getting there so well. I also changed the session I had been assigned. I wanted to go to the session that seemed to be the basis for the whole theory Dr. Daggett proposes to prepare our students for their lives in the world of the future. The woman wasn't too willing to do it because she had been "fussed at" for doing so the night before. I told her that I had been told that I could change sessions if I was there at 7 AM....I just didn't tell her that it was MJ who told me I could. ;0) It was long, but certainly educational. I don't even want to get into the details because it would be filled with educational jargon that would bore non-educators....or scare them about the state of education in our country. At lunch we walked to a place called Duccini's for lunch. The food was good, but it was not designed for sitting down. There were three or four stools at a counter inside and two small tables outside. We went back to the room in two shifts to accommodate the "eaters" and the "pottiers" (no bathroom at Duccini's). We had just enough time to chat and get back to our session. For some freakish reason we were put in a room on a hall with a Quiet Zone. No noise ever, basically. Ethel was spoken to while escorting the brood of children back out. Apparently pilots are housed in this area. Luckily we never heard of any plane crashes while we were on that hall since we would have been the source of the tragedy. We met back up Ethel and the brood at their room after our session. What a pain in the butt it was to get there! Slight right here, turn around 5 times in a circle and hop on one foot to get there. The city is confusing! It reminded me of the staircases at Hogwarts! FINALLY, we found the hotel and headed off toward the Metro station at Foggy Bottom to sightsee at the Mall. On this trek we saw the exterior of many of the Smithsonian museums, the Capitol, the Washington Monument, and a festival. Hunger and exhaustion took over and we headed back to Ethel's room where we ordered pizza for the kids and Chinese food for the rest of us. We also began a night of drinking. During our Ocracoke trip, Ethel was deemed "Drunk" and I was renamed "Drunker" (by the children nontheless). The names basically stuck for this evening, but Luscious was honored by the children at "Drunkest". Have I even mentioned that Luscious had taught A&D this past year? Well...I hate to leave on this note BUT I will continue later. :0)