A Woman Obsessed

'Mad' is a term we use to describe a man who is obsessed with one idea and nothing else. ~ Ugo Betti

Did you ever see that movie on the Lifetime channel where the woman tried to have her daughter's classmate killed in order to get her own child a spot on the cheerleading squad? Irrational, right? I AM IN NO WAY CONTEMPLATING DRASTIC MEASURES LIKE THAT...however, do you ever find yourself doing something totally irrational and obsessive when it comes to your own child? I found myself obsessing over Daughter today. I was sharing my worries with Luscious when she suggested a way to resolve the problem. It was devious, sneaky, and ridiculous BUT I did it! She was my accomplice which made it seem more like a silly prank (and I know it will be something we laugh about for years to come), but if you asked me yesterday if I would have done something like it...I would have said no. I've been sneaky before, but this was at an entirely different level. I wouldn't have done it had it not been to allay Daughter's fears and the compulsion to get to the bottom of her turmoil. The KICKER is that now that I've done it and I know that she has nothing to worry about I can't even divulge the info since I cannot explain how I know what I know. YEESH!

In Summary.....

Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "what happened to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call Mama. Any questions? ~ Mitch (City Slickers)

This week "off" has been such a wonderful experience. I was actually able to keep my house "tidy"....or at least my version of it considering the lifestyle I now have w/ children & the dog. I organized some things. Sorted through things that needed "weeding out" AND even got some work done in the yard. As much as I adore Christmas, Easter Break is always a more relaxing time. With all the rebirth of life in spring, I am always inspired to rid my existence of unnecessary things. Hey, I'm sure I still have quite a bit of the "unnecessary", but I have at least unloaded a vast amount of it from my life....old papers, scraps of junk, old clothes. As opposed to Christmas Break, I have very few obligations. I don't have the stress of making sure the decorations are picture-perfect (ok, stop laughing...it may not appear that everything is "picture perfect", but I STRIVE for it) only to pack them back up (even THAT takes me a while). The weather is usually more inviting this time of year. Despite the fact that it has been cooler than normal (snow on Easter weekend?! plus an extra day off due to the wind/tide), I did manage a day in the flower bed and get sun on the back of my neck while bending over the weeds. I DO hate the drudgery of everyday housework, BUT there is something cathartic about cleaning when I have time in the day for both cleaning AND play. I have thoroughly enjoyed this week because I have MADE time to see friends and feel that my home has actually been worthy of visitors. I suffer from some freakish mental disorder that does not ever let me think that my house is EVER clean enough to be seen by others. It never has the look of those pristine homes on tv where everything glistens and there is no clutter ANYWHERE......BUT, it is not in such a state where I would need one of those cleaning experts to shovel out rooms of half-eaten food and mounds of forgotten junk (well, except for the upstairs where we are remodeling - and there is NO half-eaten food!). Last night (Saturday) we had another couple over for dinner. I didn't get around to Swiffering the kitchen floor (which had already been done the day before). Bags of clothes for the thrift store and hand-me-downs littered the floor. But guess what....nobody died. Dinner was delicious (except I forgot to serve the stupid mushrooms and onions with the steaks - another martini moment. duh!). Despite my flub, we still had a great time. Friends are friends. This week has led to a few epiphanies. These are things I expect most people realize and embrace earlier in life. For some reason, I have not grasped these notions (and whether these become words to LIVE by is still debatable). First of all, my friends are my friends. They are not here to pass judgement on me due to the state of mess of my home. They come to visit ME not my dust bunnies. I need to perseverate less on my clutter and more on what matters in life. Second, I HAVE to focus more on the important things and less on the trivial matters in life. While doing the 'clean sweep', I found several old photographs. Looking at Daughter's early pictures, I must direct less attention to work and more attention on family. Spending a bit less time on work will not make me a less effective teacher. My family is the here and the now. That won't always be the case. I do not want to be a "woulda", "shoulda", "coulda" mom. My children do not need that kind of mom. A few things that occurred this week made me ask myself, "Do I KNOW my children? Do I really know what makes them happy? Do I know what their dreams are? Do I spend enough time with them?" I also need to make more time for the family members that are not my children. Spending time with Hubby makes me SO happy. We spent time together yesterday training our dog with the Invisible Fence we just bought (yes, yet another high dollar purchase this week...but not as stressful as buying the new fridge and the couch). I had so much fun in that 10 minutes. I SO enjoyed our obnoxious banter throughout dinner last night (some people don't "get" our relationship b/c we "smart ass" each other a great deal of the time, but we love it). Focusing on the mundane routines of life has resulted in less of these little moments together. I also spent a lot of time with Hubby's sisters this week while we went walking each day. I LOVED each time we went. In less than an hour we exercise, chat, and bitch about every problem imaginable. We vow to have the solution to every problem in the world or direct each issue to someone we are SURE can do it (and yes, we HAVE a name in mind). LAST, I need to allow myself the pleasure of enjoying new 'things'. I have worked hard and should not need to fight some kooky internal battle over a fridge and a couch.

What does this all mean? It means that I need to Spring Clean myself internally and enjoy life while I can. So many sicknesses and deaths have come to my awareness lately. I need to embrace the here and now so I won't regret it in the future. Hey, folks, help keep me in check.

Stuff

Things you own end up owning you. ~ Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

For months (probably longer in reality) I have been griping about our refrigerator. The pieces inside have been steadily breaking, limiting our ability to store all of our food (and see what needs to go before it turns a revolting shade of green). Thanks to the wonderfully salty air (which has an intoxicating, fabulous scent) there are spots of rust developing on the exterior doors. The side-by-side layout severely limits storage. Need I say more? Finally we gave in and embarked on a trek "up the beach" to purchase a new appliance. In the "real world" this would (at least I envision that it would) be a much easier process. For us living in our remote island paradise, this is somewhat of an ordeal. First we stopped at Sears. Our Sears is not a vast department store. Our Sears is smaller than most "real world" pharmacies, crammed with limited models of stoves, washers, dryers, dishwashers, lawn mowers, and tv's. There may be a few tools...can't be sure since tools confuse me....therefore, I avoid them. We checked out the models, but also wanted to check out the Home Depot. To make a long story short (if you can believe that coming from me), we liked one model there. Here was the "kicker".....delivery to our village consists only of "curb side" service. For almost $70, we could pay for someone to deliver the fridge to the yard. Perhaps this wouldn't be such an issue if the home in which we live wasn't 9-10ft off the ground to prevent flood damage. They weren't sure exactly who would service the appliance if there was a problem. Yes, we left Home Depot. On our way back to Sears we stopped off at a furniture store to look at some couches. Our present couch was purchased 13 years ago after Hurricane Emily ruined our old one (this was prior to our "house raising"). I ADORE this couch. It's long, comfy, beautiful and it was one of the first pieces of furniture I bought. The past few years (cough - since the children - cough) have not been good for our sleeper sofa. It has been stained from the illegal drinks and snacks that always find their way into the living room (despite the fact that the grown-ups in the house forbid their entry to the living room and the children NEVER take illegal items into the living room....must be the Boogie Dog or the Dryer Monster - except the Dryer Monster's diet, to my knowledge, is exclusively socks). There are tears from its use as a trampoline (although the children do not do this). I would love to have it reupholstered, but THAT is just as expensive as a new couch. I have never been a fan of leather furniture. I am constantly cold and prefer furniture that can surround me in comfort and warmth. Leather does not accomplish this for me. HOWEVER, after describing our lifestyle to the saleswoman, she convinced us that the leather sofa was the way to go. She listed several things that could be simply "wiped up".....when she mentioned sun lotion, I immediately pictured the sun lotion that is hidden on the underside of one of the cushions. I don't think she was pushing us in this direction for the commission, either. The other furniture we were eyeing would have added up to a comparable sale. Our new sofa (without a sleeper) will arrive in two weeks. I get too attached to "things". I honestly teared up when I thought about having to get rid of the couch I love. It IS a wreck. The slip cover looks awful on it. BUT I LOVE IT!!! I was the same way when we sold my green Honda (the first car I bought) because we knew we needed something bigger when Son was on the way. I literally cried when we handed the car over to its new owners. This new sofa will fit our lifestyle and will definitely improve the look of our living room, BUT I am so sentimental.....I will miss that old guy.

I know, I STILL haven't finished the fridge story. I'll get right back to it....but first I have to analyze the situation even more and divulge my freakiness. When shopping, I have no qualms about walking into Limited Too and plunking down hard-earned cash for Daughter's wardrobe. Perhaps it's because I enjoy buying for her and like seeing her in the clothes she loves (and maybe living a bit vicariously through her since I did not get to shop exclusively at the "popular stores" while growing up). In contrast, it honestly puts my stomach in knots when I am buying large ticket items for the house. All day yesterday I was on the verge of vomiting. We are paying cash for these items so it's not like we are getting into debt (further is more like it). I AM constantly complaining about how I feel we live like "trash". I guess part of it is that there are other projects I want done in addition to these new purchases and I want those done too. Our linoleum is torn in the kitchen....I want tile. The upstairs remodeling has been on hiatus for a LONG time. I want it DONE. I know that these new things will upgrade our present life, though. I WILL not curse the fridge every day. I will not pine away for a nicer looking couch when I enter the living room. I just need to accept these changes and quit worrying and stressing over things so they don't run my life!!! Easier said than done. I will, at this point return to the fridge story because I could easily sit here ALL day and perseverate on how I became so freakin' anal about things and such a worrier. Unless I totally had myself fooled in the past, I was not like this earlier in my life. This obsessive freakishness has somehow invaded and taken over the person who used to be able to sit and stare at Lifetime Television for an entire weekend whether the laundry was done or not!

Back to Sears. The fridge we liked best was a close-out model. Stainless (something else I didn't think I wanted). There are a few "dings" in the door (ok Luscious, I never claimed to be as anal as you - smiles). I can live with the dings for a few reasons. 1. $400 discount....making the price less than the "white" model 2. Son would probably ding the fridge anyway. 3. I really like the "layout" of the interior. And guess what else? Sears will service the fridge in our paradise AND for less than $10 more than Home Depot they will bring the thing INTO my house in paradise!!! The new fridge will be here next week so Hubby won't have to suffer through the "I hate this *7%4!@ fridge!" mantra anymore. I'm sure I will replace it with some other obsessive chant. At least I am aware of my quirks....I may not embrace them and am certainly not proud of them, but they are what make me the person I am. Love it or leave it.

SURPRISES OF THE DAY: selecting items that I have "opposed" for quite some time (stainless steel and leather)
NON-SURPRISES OF THE DAY: shedding tears for my couch; nausea over spending the money even though these are HOME IMPROVEMENTS that will ultimately bring me pride in my home

THE BEST PART OF THE DAY: going to Ethel's house and drowning my obsessions with the bootleg recipe for AppleBee tini's....too bad for Ethel and Mrs. Karaoke King (who came over, too) who had to hear me verbally analyze all this drivel (thanks, ladies!). Did I mention that our local liquor store does NOT carry regular apple liqueur? We had to go to the ABC store "up the beach" to find it. Don't worry you local ladies, I bought two bottles and have us covered for a bit! ALSO....the book club is a "go"! Poker be damned!

Combatting Poker

No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance. ~ Confucius

I don't remember how or when it began, but at some point in time Hubby, Fred, and Karaoke King started a weekly Wednesday night poker ritual. Don't stand between Hubby and the door on Wednesday night around 8 because you are certain to get run over as he rushes to depart. There are other guys involved in the weekly event and it has only been on one occasion where the women-folk were allowed to attend. No, I do not know how to play poker nor do I necessarily want to learn how to play poker so I can compete for money with my friends. However, I DO miss seeing the poker widows. We used to get together AT LEAST monthly. Now that the poker aficionados see each other on a regular basis to gamble, grunt, and share in male bonding, the families basically don't get together anymore. Yes, there are other factors: work, children, yadda yadda yadda. Nonetheless, we girls deserve an evening out to bond as well. All of us enjoy reading. I know that I rarely take the time to read for pleasure anymore. I don't think I have read a "grown up" book since January!!! There was a time when I read a book each weekend! Considering each of these dilemmas, I think we are going to try to form a very informal book club. It would kill several birds with one stone: 1. increase "girl time" 2. increase our pleasurable reading 3. give us a "reason" to get together. If any of you have any suggestions for how to get something like this going or have any suggestions for great books, please leave a comment. :0)

SPRING Break?!

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unneccessary freezing of water. ~ Carl Reiner

It is April 7th. I live in North Carolina at the beach. We have seen snow today. What in the world is up with THAT?

Pull-Ups...Not Just for Kids Anymore

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think that humans are nuts. ~ John Steinbeck

Finley gave me one of these looks today. I have never had a dog that was not spayed. I have never been around a dog that has been in heat. Just goes to prove that one is never too old to learn something new. I will spare the details of how I discovered the dog was in heat. As I have said in previous posts, I live in a REMOTE area. I cannot run out to the PetSmart and pick up a pack of doggie "supplies". First I called Hubby at work. His suggestion: the Pull-Up. Although deep in my heart I knew that this was going to have to be the solution, I was not ready to accept it. I called my brother. His solution? Again, the Pull-Up. How do I even begin to cut a proper hole for the tail?! Yeesh! I grabbed the Pull-Up and cut a slit from the waistband that was about 5-6 inches long. Then, like a rodeo cowboy roping a calf, I went for the dog. No, it is not easy to get a Pull-Up on a dog. I begged Daughter to assist, guaranteeing that she would only have to hold the dog's collar....she would not have to make any contact with her hind end (don't cha just hear Larry the Cable Guy when you read those two words?). A short struggle ensued, but the Pull-Up was on....only to begin falling off because the slit just separated. My solution? The stapler. I think Daughter was a bit shocked when I asked her to get it since she had jokingly suggested that we staple it TO the dog. I stapled the slit at the waistband and voila! A stylish doggie diaper that any bitch in the neighborhood would be proud to wear! I haven't seen any of the other dogs sporting Cars (the kid's movie) Pull-Ups....eat your heart out, bitches! Now to think about what I'm going to do when Son comes home and finds out Finley is wearing his night-time underwear......

Stock Advice

Bob Dole speaking on Viagara on Larry King after revealing he was a test subject: "I wish I had bought stock in it."

Well, all, it's been a long time since I have posted. Lots of trivial garbage has gone on....stuff I couldn't even make humorous enough to post. Girl Scout cookies, school, basketball, blah blah blah. One development that I don't think I detailed was Daughter's entrance into the world of shaving. Daughter is 11 years old. I didn't think she'd be shaving yet. Oh the world we live in.

This tale begins about one month ago when I noticed my razor was placed differently in the shower. Considering we all use the shower, I didn't think too much of it AT THE TIME...it doesn't take much to knock things out of place in the shower. Forward a few days.....a gorgeous, warm day. Hubby takes Son and Finley to the beach on the sound side. Lots of seaweed to get into. Sand. Water. Little boys' delights. That night Son's knuckles are bright red and irritated. The cause? No definitve answer. ....possibly jellyfish?! Forward a few more days.....it's evening (a Wed. b/c it was Hubby's poker night) and I am wallowing in bed enjoying tv peacefully. Daughter comes in worried that Son had used her "bath puff". Her reason? She has red marks like he had had on his knuckles....hers were on her legs. At this point, she props a leg up on the edge of my bed. Red splotches covering the area between her knee and her ankle. Me....perplexed UNTIL I notice a lone hair sprouting from her shin. "When did you start shaving your legs?" I ask calmly. "Last week," Daughter's nonchalant response. Yes, razor burn from shaving with water. No soap. No lotion. No bath gel. Hmmm. I hope Son wasn't shaving his knuckles to get HIS marks. I broke down and bought her the proper supplies. My daughter is a shaver. In just over a week she completely used up a can of shaving lotion. Today, Luscious, her daughter Vera, Daughter, and I were illegally hanging out in the school workroom (NO KIDS ALLOWED!!!). I mentioned to Daughter that she needed to slow down on the shaving lotion. Luscious happened to rub Daughter's arm and commented on how smooth it was. Yeah, it's smooth! She has shaved her freakin' arms!!!! No...not her armPITS...her ARMS! We are not a hairy people. We have (or in her case HAD) blonde hair on our arms that is quite sparse. If we were Sasquatch....I'd completely understand. If she were a competitive swimmer, I'd completely understand. HOWEVER, there is no real need for her to shave her arms! At closer inspection, I found that she has stubble growing from her elbow up and shaved smooth from the elbow down. I pray that she doesn't pull a Britney Spears and begin shaving her damn head. My advice to you is to buy stock in shaving lotion and razors....my daughter will make you very rich people if her shaving habits continue.

PS Carolina and Ethel: You may be laughing at this.....BUT REMEMBER: Your time is coming and you each will have TWO daughters!

In the Dark Ages

“You’ve heard of plug-and-play. This is plug, unplug and play. It’s so simple to use, it’s unbelievable”—Steve Jobs

Apparently I should not own one of these modern marvels. I have been fighting with iTunes since last night trying to get a new song from Hubby's LimeWire playlist to the Music list so I can put the stupid song on my playlist. When I click on the song in Hubby's LimeWire playlist and then right click to put it on another playlist, it only lets me put it in the What's New list. Then I can't move it to my playlist. Damn technology! By the time I figure this out I will hate the song!

Furthermore, a bunch of pictures have just miraculously migrated from my PC to my iPod without me knowing. Some of the pictures really suck and I don't know how to get them off. I love the premise of the iPod and I know I am not using it to its full potential, but some simple directions for those of us who are technically challenged would be nice. I tried the Help, but it really wasn't what I was looking for. AARRGGG!

Calling All Girls

Cecile: This iced tea tastes funny.
Sebastian: It's from Long Island.
~ Cruel Intentions

I don't know if it's because I could sleep in this morning or if it's the delightfully caffeinated coffee I indulged in this morning or if it's just the odd force of nature that has made everything off-kilter this week.....NONETHELESS: I am in the mood to throw down. I could easily down a few Long Island Iced Teas in some crowded place with loud blaring music....like the Trolls of yore...and laugh the night away with my friends. Sadly, this will not take place. Why? Several reasons.
1. I live in an area that does not have liquor by the drink. In order to get the drink I am longing for, I would have to take a ferry ride to the next county or drive an hour away.
2. At this stage in life, calling people at 5:30 in the evening to arrange for a night of frivolous fun is usually not fruitful.

What's even sadder is that as much I would love to go out, by 8:30 I will be ready for bed. At least I am saving myself from a hangover tomorrow. :0)

Theta

We're gonna turn this into the best sorority house in school! ~ Janey (Sorority House Massacre II)

In college I was in a sorority called Kappa Alpha Theta. I had never originally planned on being Greek. I didn't want to go through Rush and pretty much thought the whole thing was ridiculous. As it turned out, I got to know some girls in Theta and was offered a bid without having to go through the ordeal of Rush. I liked the house and felt I belonged there. In no way did it resemble the stereotypical image of sorority life that I had in my head. Long story made really short (can you believe it?!)....our charter was revoked. The sisters living in the house were booted out mid-semester. It sucked. Many of us had varying opinions about the situation. I am now a part of the chapter's Yahoo Group. I get emails of the messages posted there and read them...most of the time not really knowing the girls posting. Last October when I went to Chapel Hill, Carolina brought it to my attention that the house (which was rather ugly anyway) was no longer there. Indeed, it had been destroyed. When I was in Chapel Hill in January, it was obvious that something was going up on the land. Recently, a discussion was started on the message board about the absence of the house. Yeah, I had posted in October, but nobody seemed to care back then. Whatever. The mention of the house brought about this huge discussion about recolonizing. It also led to numerous posts about how the closing of the chapter went down and why all of it happened. It sounds like there were some pretty shady things going on between different people at the national level....we were what people were using to get revenge on each other. Alumni of our chapter were never informed of our situation and were never told that we needed help. After all this time I still have mixed feelings about the whole sordid mess. I enjoyed my sisters. I hated recruiting new members knowing that the future of the house was hanging in the balance. All of the posts on the subject made many old feelings resurface. I finally posted after I received an email from Theta asking me to watch the attached video. The video encouraged me to "pay it forward" and help a sister and/or say how a sister helped me. Not only were they urging me to help a sister, they were also urging me to pay some kind of dues! I was appalled! I have responded negatively to prior emails of this nature (esp. if I have found them while inebriated), but never received anything in return. Over the course of the weekend, I sent this as my reply to their solicitation:

I will always Pay It Forward when it comes to
supporting the theta organization...just as they
showed their kindness and love to us at Delta Xi on
the UNC campus.  Watching my sisters be evicted
mid-semester as our house was closed down left a scar
in my heart.  I love my sisters but I cannot support
an organization that promises sisterly love for a
lifetime and then treats its sisters in such a harsh
and uncaring way.  I would not want one cent of mine
to be used to promote this organization that could
just as easily smash the emotions of another group of
fabulous women.  A sign was posted in our entry after
our charter was revoked.  It captured the real
motivation of Kappa Alpha Theta.  It simply said:
Kappa Alpha Theta loves money and numbers.  These
emails just solidify that motto.

This evening I received a response that said:  Here is another one.
The only thing I can figure is that my email has been forwarded to
someone.  I wonder what will happen!  Once again, no one
(except for one sister who responded to me via personal email)
has commented on the post I made on the Yahoo Group message board.
No, the portion that I pasted here is NOT what I said on the board. 
Nonetheless, I think I may have hurt some sisters' feelings who are
still loyal and highly involved in the organization.  I'm curious to
 see how this pans out.

Sloth

That destructive siren, sloth, is ever to be avoided. ~ Horace

Like hell it is! If I didn't embrace sloth-like behavior at times I would utterly lose my mind! Today has been the day of the sloth. It's my new Chinese New Year symbol. If there can be a Year of the Pig, there can certainly be the Day of the Sloth. Last weekend was an absolute whirlwind. I spent Saturday watching Daughter's basketball game, lunch at my brother's, and a trip to Ace Hardware & Food Lion. Sunday was devoted to preparing for the NERESA conference (out of all the presenters WE made the county article -yay for us!). The classroom we were in was in poor shape. The school is only in its 3rd year of operation and is by far in worse shape than ours although ours has been open for 5 years and has 5-11 year old children running about. It was really sad to see how poorly kept that school was. Architecturally it is beautiful: faux columns that lead to arched ceilings, wide halls. Our room looked like soda had exploded on the wall beneath the white board. EVERY floor tile had at least 50 indentations caused by the chairs. No one had bothered to clean the white board. They knew company was coming and didn't even clean! Over 700 people attended the event...people from our county as well as educators from several other counties. The teacher workroom was the saddest place of all. If I worked there, I would avoid it like the plague. The sink was filthy. There was no soap and only a few paper towels. Who leaves a place like this ESPECIALLY knowing all these other people were coming to see a school that is supposed to be a Taj Mahal?! Anyway, Luscious and I spent over two hours (did I mention that it takes me over an hour each way to get to this pigsty?!) preparing our room. We needed tables and had to BEG to get them. We even had to resort to using desks to put the rest of our crap on. We are anal in our planning and had fortunately stopped at the Dollar Tree to buy tablecloths to add that decorative touch to our materials (and doesn't it make all the difference?!). I had to rework the Power Point because the colors just didn't look the same through the projector. This wouldn't annoy some people, but it disturbed me to no end! I finally just had to deal with a color because NOTHING looked right. By the time we were done, our room looked good. By the time I got home, I felt rather crummy. I had had a few "dizzy" spells during the day. I don't know what it was from. All sorts of nasty illnesses have been circulating through the school. I wasn't sure if it was some kind of stomach ick or if my ears (yes, that is plural - I had my ears checked halfway through my course of decongestants and due to the cold I had contracted BOTH ears were now showing that they had fluid!!) were affecting my balance (as had been the case when I dealt with the infection). I took Son out to A's house (Hubby was taking Daughter to the dentist in VA while I presented) to spend the night. No need in waking him or anyone up early to suit our busy day. By the time I got home, I felt really dizzy. I went straight to bed. Was this my reason NOT to present? I knew Luscious would kill me in a slow and painful manner if I was not well enough to present. On Monday I awoke to decent health. No way out now! I practiced the whole way to Luscious's house (45 min. away)....I loathe speaking in front of adults and was incredibly nervous. People were already gathering in our room when we arrived! We had planned on me speaking and Luscious being the Vanna White, advancing the slides on the Power Point. At the last minute, a "clicker" showed up. Now that people were in the room we were kinda stuck with the original plan, but now there was no need for Luscious to sit at the computer at the back of the room. All in all, it went ok. We were told to plan for 25 and ended up with 33 so we didn't have enough materials. It definitely wasn't as bad as the MaEd presentation, but still not something I want to do again. The rest of the week was busy, too, but it wasn't as bad as the prior weeks with nothing short of 4 gazillion activities to stress about. Basketball is winding down. Daughter is really improving...taking more chances, being more aggressive, attempting shots (I hope she'll make one before the season ends). Her team was undefeated in regular season play (there are only 3 teams) and the tournament is next week. Last night there was a county Girl Scout function called Fight Like a Girl. Several women from the community (EMT worker, magistrate, fire fighters) came to tell the girls about their jobs. Then two other women came and taught the girls how to escape and fight in the case of an attempted abduction. It was scary hearing her talk, but incredible to watch these little girls (from kindergarten to 6th grade) practice escaping from these two scary women....none of the adults in the room attempted to grab either of them. They were taught how to scream and act like freaks to try to get free as well as how to hit an attacker with the back of their heads. The women told them how to bite the forearms of an attacker.....they even got to practice biting oranges. The women were extra rough with the bigger girls. I suppose because they are bigger (duh) and more likely to encounter some sort of pervert. The self confidence that emanated from the girls as they escaped these brutes was awesome. On the flip side, it's really sad that we have to teach our children these things. The instructor told the girls that they needed to have their parents practice attacking them twice a week. It all made sense. We teach our children all sorts of things: how to brush their teeth, dress themselves, etc. BUT we don't teach them how to help themselves in a life or death situation. It was a fabulous evening. Needless to say, I was absolutely exhausted after teaching all day, spending 4 hours with 50+ girls (who ultimately had to be watched closely b/c they were starting to practice on each other), and then cleaning up. I didn't get home until 9:30 last night. I go to pick up the cookies in about 10 minutes. That will be my next fun adventure. Needless to say, I think I deserved a bit of sloth-like behavior today. I have made sure I have done laundry. At least we'll have clean clothes even if the house looks like crap. I don't think occasional trips to Slothdom have ever killed anyone. Pooey on Horace.

My Space

Stupidity often saves a man from going mad. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

My Space. My Space. My Space. I hear about it on tv, among children, and even among adults. Wow. The things you can learn about people at that crazy site! I have seen former students rather drunk and practically naked. I have seen a colleague's child with a suspicious item in hand. It's dementedly amusing and difficult to pull away from once there. Well, I decided that I needed to jump on the My Space wagon myself. However, I created a horror. I used a picture that doesn't even reveal my face. I embedded a song riddled with profanity. I added a video I found on You Tube that sings a song about a chupacabra. I said that I was a chupacabra hunter. I have a purple llama that visitors can feed. I named her Tina the Fat Lard (from Napoleon Dynamite). I also took a survey that revealed what South Park character I am and posted the results because the picture is of Cartman from one of my favorite episodes (Scott Tenorman Must Die). The only thing "real" on the page is my education profile. Girlfriend said I shouldn't leave that stuff on there because people will think I am on crack. I think it's pretty funny. Then again, I have a pretty warped sense of humor at times. I HAVE thought about former students stumbling upon it.....I wonder if they'll think I'm as freaky as I think they are..............

Did I Bump My Head?!

Last night the creative juices were flowing but today I am merely a vast wasteland of random thoughts.
-- Peckeroy

I have been in "rush mode" since last Thursday! Girl Scout meeting on Friday. Daughter's game on Saturday. Daughter's Harriet Tubman paper and project. Attend a high school fund raiser with Daughter Sat. night. Son's valentines. Daughter's valentine box. Packing Daughter for her trip to Raleigh to represent the school at Legislative School Technology Day. GETTING AN UGLY COLD(not part of the plan, but totally expected with all the disease at school - I continue to sing the praises of Zicam! It is the bomb-diggity! Go for the nasal options - most of the other stuff tastes HORRIBLE). Son's last basketball game. Botching dinner plans for after the game (yes, another fine disaster wracking me with guilt). Daughter's oral report practice (by the way - she did an awesome job). More Girl Scouts (cooking and all). AND THE ABSOLUTE BEST: preparing a presentation for the Best Practices Conference our county is sponsoring. Why I ever agreed to this is beyond my realm of understanding. I abhor speaking in front of adults. I typically mock those who present at these things because it is so pretentious the way they speak so upbeat and giddy....quoting research and warm-fuzzy quotes (yes, I use quotes - but you KNOW that they aren't all warm & fuzzy....and, yes, I must admit that I have already found and inserted a cheesy quote into my Power Point) . What have I done?! In true anal fashion I have created two Power Points: one that will loop as the people foolish enough to enter our realm (our referring to Luscious and me) and one that we will use to drone on endlessly during our presentation. The second one, in addition to the cheesy quote, also has documented research to back our method. What is wrong with me?! Luscious and I stayed at school until after 7 to prepare our "stuff". First she helped with Girl Scouts b/c Clementine's son is sick. Then we helped Daughter get ready for the 4th-6th grade dance and snooped as the kids arrived. This seems to be some odd obsession we have. When her son went to his first prom we camped out across the street from the place and commented on all the clothes and activity as if we were hired by E! to critique the red carpet at some foo foo award ceremony. We have since joked about being Prom Stalkers. Even worse was that we both had our daughters with us. I am sure they will be worried about us doing this again for their proms (Luscious's daughter has already been to a prom without us stalking.....but we just might show up when we're least expected). Progressively sadder is the fact that we drank in the car while doing this and then convinced my daughter that the cops came and caught us (while she napped). Now we have resorted to spying on elementary students as they arrive to a dance in the gym. Forget those Desperate Housewives and Real Housewives of Orange County.....we've gottem beat: The Pathetic Moms of Dare County. Every now and then Luscious and I have to do something naughty that real criminals would snicker at. However, our little mischievous acts satisfy our need to "be up to no good". On Thursday two guys were in our pod at school installing these sweet new projectors that will allow us to project our computers onto our whiteboards. We will no longer need to reserve the computer lab to show our students anything on the computer. We noticed that some of the projectors were being positioned in such a way that they would not project onto our whiteboards. Instead, they would project onto our bulletin boards. This was not good...our bulletin boards are always decorated to reflect our latest theme....not set up to be projection screens. We told our Technology person who came down to check it out. The expert installer felt that we were wrong and offered to turn one on to show us (dumb women) just how it would work. Luscious carefully watched him hook up temporary power to the projector (the electrician will eventually come to give it juice through the maze of wires in the ceiling) using an extension cord. It was hard not to crack a smile when he had to admit that he was wrong because part of the image projected onto the bulletin board and, try as he might, he could not get the image to appear solely on the whiteboard without moving the projector to a new area (causing him to have to go back and move each one he had already installed). In the course of all this Luscious also got the Tech person to show her how to get the computer to work with the projector. Can you see where this is leading? Last night in order to prepare for our impending presentation, Luscious decided we needed the projector. No, the computer screen would not suffice. We got the ladder out of the next classroom, got the extension cord, and hooked up the projector. This involved Luscious moving a ceiling tile and reaching up into the area above the ceiling. In true Luscious fashion, she wanted a Clorox wipe to wipe some filth. Neither her daughter nor I would get her one....wet wipe, electricity, $800 projector we're not authorized to use: not a good combo. We practiced the presentation and then her daughter...gee, have I "nicknamed" her yet?....I think Vera will be good for her! YAY!... went "screen shopping" (in the mall it would have been "window shopping"), projecting cute bags & stuff from the Vera Bradley site and cute dresses from American Eagle Outfitters on the board. My blog looked pretty sweet up there, too...especially the paper plate art...nothing like the big screen to enhance that mouth! There. That's it. The true tale of our criminal behavior. We're rebels. The car is now packed full of our presentation crap so we can go set it up tomorrow afternoon (an hour away). Monday morning we get to travel there again so we can present from 9:15 to 10 and then quickly break it down for the next group that presents in our room at 10:15. We'd be freaking out if we weren't presenting first because there is absolutely NO WAY we could set up our junk to our anal specifications in 15 minutes. I am still pondering why I agreed to this. I know I must have bumped my head. I think I will get to take a small breather after this....or at least I can try to fool myself into believing it.

Mish Mash

Dear Cameron Crazies,

You suck. ~ Matt Sullivan (Duke student)

Well the boys pulled off a win! It was too close for me, though. Daughter stayed up and watched with me...chanting anti-Duke cheers in time with the 'crazies' and begging me to turn off the sound so we wouldn't have to suffer through Dick. Yeah, I know how to bring up a child right!

Today I started a Flickr account and uploaded 30 pictures of the Basketball Weekend in Chapel Hill. I can be technologically challenged at times as well as impatient. These two characteristics have prompted me to give up for tonight. I really want to learn how to use this "tool" so I can upload more pictures. I have sent a desperate email to Hippie's Chick for assistance. If she doesn't get the email, maybe she'll at least check this out and mercifully send me some instructions.

Daughter is finally home from a field trip (yes, it's 10pm). I'm going to go see how her day was. G'night!

Further Comment

Miss Perky: Some people perceive you as somewhat...
Kat: Tempestuous?
Miss Perky: Heinous bitch is the term used most often. You may want to work on that.
~ 10 Things I Hate About You

1. My ear sucks. It is filled with fluid AGAIN....at least not infected. I am on Allegra D ($50?!) for two weeks and if it does not go away I get to experience life with Prednozone (sp?). I hear it makes one irritable. yay. Just what I need to enhance my life at work (sarcasm dripping!!!).

2. I SO BADLY MISS THE GIRLS I WORKED WITH FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS!!! Luscious is still there and I love working with her BUT I miss the others so much. I am forced to run my classroom as if I am a warden.... otherwise all hell breaks loose. I do not blame the kids. I know they think I am a tyrant, but if I attempt to have the least little bit of fun it turns into total chaos because Dukie doesn't know when to quit. I have spoken with her about not letting things get out of hand TO NO AVAIL!!! I feel I cannot leave her alone with the kids at all. I ran down the hall to photocopy something during SILENT reading today and came back to find her sitting in the rocking chair singing into the microphone. Was it silent anymore?! HELL NO! I cannot take much more of this before I blow! She told me that she is "trying" and that it isn't always her fault that things get out of hand. I told her that SHE is the adult. For goodness sake......these are 7 & 8 year old children she is with! Did I mention that this is not someone younger than me? This woman is in her 50's! I have probably written more than I should have...but I am at my breaking point. I typically have no "balls" when it comes to confronting people. Today I told her how difficult she made my job and to remember these instances when I had to evaluate her at the end of the year because situations like today were something I would have to mark her down for. Yes, I was so disgusted and angry that I was able to grow a pair. This is monumental for me. I still hate that I was forced to be that way. Is it June?!

Bitch and Moan

Bernadette: No, I'll join this converation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody Abba!
Tick: Doesn't give us much to talk about then, does it?

Have you ever been in the mood to just bitch and moan about most everything? I think at the moment the only thing sacred is my family. I want to bitch about my job situation, my ear, coworkers, cold weather....and I'm sure I could go on and on. The only thing is that I am too tired to write it all and I don't know who might read it and tattle to those bitched about. I think I am going to put on my pj's and go watch the losers on Idol. BLAH!!!!!!!!

Mind-Numbing Fun

Texas Ranger: I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

Yesterday I watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (the stupid italics won't work tonight!). It is completely ignorant, yet ridiculously funny. If you want to laugh at something mindless and dumb, I highly recommend this flick. On Saturday night, we watched The Guardian with Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. Definitely NOT funny, but still good. I loved my movie weekend!

WHY?

Most journalists are restless voyeurs who see the warts on the world, the imperfections of people and places. Gloom is their game, the spectacle their passion, normality their nemesis. ~ Gay Talese

My plans for this morning were to sleep in. I have yet to determine whether I accomplished my goal or not. I am usually up around 6 so sleeping until after 7 is later than normal, but nothing luxuriously decadent. To me, sleeping in is anything later than 9 and then lying in bed to watch junk on tv or read a book. Since I awoke at 7 something and then checked the sickening number of unread emails in my inbox, I hardly qualify this as sleeping in. It also gave me no excuse to miss exercise class for yet another Saturday. The cold temperature wasn't even a good enough excuse. I really enjoyed going back to class and chatting with Jazzy and Ethel. During class discussion arose about my blog. We explained to another class attendee what the blog was and reminisced about some people unknown to us who have posted comments here. The classmate asked, "Why do you do that?"...as if this were a bad thing. Of course that started making me think,"Why DO I post this stuff about my personal life that ANYONE can read?" Am I some kind of freak, inviting the voyeurs of the world to examine my life? Am I some weirdo exhibitionist? I think the most basic answer is that I have always expressed myself best with written words. Formal writing is not enjoyable to me but informal writing is an outlet for my thoughts. It is a way I can clear my brain. Additionally, I believe that writing deserves an audience. It is not nearly as effective when it is kept secret. I choose this avenue of sharing my writing because people can CHOOSE to read it or not. If I wrote all this crap out and then emailed it to my friends, I would feel as though I was force-feeding them my drivel (no, GP...that's not how I feel about your email). Blogging keeps me in touch with friends and family. Unfortunately life is so busy that I cannot always speak with everyone as much as I would like (believe me...I am more of a talker than a writer). I believe that this is a way to keep everyone abreast of what I am up to.....this way, I have time to share all the really obnoxious stuff I refuse to post when I see or speak to someone. Blogging isn't for everyone, but it satisfies my desire to write and share. THAT'S WHY!!!

Hark the Sound of TARHEEL Voices?!

Hark the sound of Tar Heel voices
Ringing clear and true
Singing Carolina's praises
Chanting NCU
Hail to the brightest star of all
Clear it radiance shine
Carolina priceless gem
Receive all praises thine ~ UNC fans at the Dean Dome last night!!!!!!

We are still in Chapel Hill and having an awesome time. The fact that a water pipe to the condo has broken and we have no water has yet to damper our fun! The ride out here was great - sans the fear that I felt when the 'service engine light' blinked for a bit when I was driving over 70 (yes, the limit WAS 70). The noise level, at times, was a bit loud but certainly tolerable. Dean (as in Dean Smith) - Ethel's son - rode with Daughter, Girlfriend, and me. At one point we had on the XM, an MP3 player (attached to Girlfriend's ears - but loud enough so I could detect noise), and 1 if not 2 iPOD's going (one of which was attached to a speaker so Dean and Daughter could hear it. OH! I also forgot about the walkie talkies...that added even more noise and fun!

While we were unpacking Girlfriend's friend from school (Sob Story - whose family has a condo in the same development) came over. Girlfriend went to his place and then over to Granville Towers to play basketball. Ethel and I unpacked, making beds and getting everything in order. Then she and I went to purchase some drinks and snacks. The liquor store that we knew and loved is now a Boston Market. What's up with that?! So, we did what most normal girls would do: spend our "liqior store time" in "shop mode". We ran into Stein Mart for a quick peek (uh-huh). I came out with two cool bargains: a new comforter for the bed (75% off...$112 dollars off the original price....bringing the cost down to no more than $40!!!) and a pillow that has a speaker so I can listen to the tv (or iPOD) without disturbing Hubby. When we are in the living room I complain that the tv is too loud and when we are in the bedroom he complains that the tv is too loud. Odd. The pillow was 75% off too.....LESS THAN $10!!!! YAY! We then rushed into the store to buy milk and drinks so we could get back to get ready for dinner at the Carolina Brewery. YUM! Daughter and I had some pizza. Hers was regular variety and mine was Roma tomato and fresh basil. Girlfriend said her turkey wrap was good, too. The appletinis were delicious!!!!

ONTO THE BEST PART: THE GAME. There is nothing like being in the Dome among all that Carolina Blue and the cheering and the sheer excitement of it all!!!!! We saw it all: slams, 3-pointers, and VICTORY! Watching Daughter cheer with her face just glowing was incredible! Towards the beginning (while I was screaming and yelling) she actually told me she didn't know me (I guess that's the tween thing), but after a few minutes she was right there with me. She was mezmerized by the cheerleaders and the High Kicking Heels and the ram. The Carolina students all decked out in their blue with colored faces, etc. also captivated her. Today for the girls game she wants to do her face....we'll see about that. I could have cried if I had let myself.....all I could think (well, not all) is "study hard and this could be your life for four wonderful years. During the course of the game I kept my eye on Girlfriend, too. Yes, the Duke fan who taught Son to say horrible things like, "Yay, Duke." I don't think that will happen again. By the end of the game she was yelling and up on her feet rallying for the Heels! She even commented that she thought she was going to be a fan for this year...we all know that once you've gotten that feeling, it's there forever - DUH! She ate ice cream with blue sprinkles, wanted a pom pom, AND requested that we buy a shirt for her for the girl's game. Ethel sealed Girlfriend's fate by buying her a shirt BEFORE we even left the Dome. On the back it has Roy's Rules: 1. We play. 2. You lose. 3. You go home. As soon as she got back to the condo she had it on EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NO NEED TO BLEND ANYMORE!!!! Yes, folks, I think Ethel and I have lured one away from the Dark Side. Score for us! OH! I forgot another highlight! Carolina read my blog after the game had started and called during the game! It was great to hear from her DURING THE GAME!!!!!! Yes, GP, we thought of you too...Ethel even had the phone in hand to call....but seeing as it was 9:45 and we only had your home number (didn't want to wake Little Heel) and work number (like you'd have been THERE)...we decided against it in case you were at the Grille.

Now I am going to join Ethel downstairs so we can get ready to hit Bruegger's AND Panera. It is already a fabulous day!

The World Revolves Around Basketball

If you think small things don't matter, think of the last game you lost by one point. ~ unknown

First of all, has it really been since December 26th that I have written? Yeesh! What a slacker! Now, on with it!

Let's see. Basketball. So many things to say!!!

On Wednesday of this week Son played his first basketball game. If you have never witnessed 5-6 year old children play basketball, you are missing out! It is the funniest, heart-warming thing EVER! Watching those little ones play with such pride and carefree abandonment is just incredible. If it doesn't lift your spirit, you are as cold-hearted as the Grinch! Son did a good job running and sliding on the floor at each end of the court. His defensive moves were hysterical - hands up, wiggling his butt, scooting around. He even made a basket!!! YAY!

Daughter is in the 10-12 year old league again this year. She LOVES the game and has improved so much since last year. She is a bit more aggressive, but still is worried about fouling....to her it's like breaking a rule and getting in trouble. She doesn't want the ref to announce her number and let the other team take shots. Did I mention that she has played since she was 5 and has never fouled? HMMM...that perfection thing - where EVER did she find that trait?! (bah hah) In her third game of the season (last Thurs.) she actually shot twice!!! This is an amazing accomplishment for her and I was so proud! When the game slowed down she met my gaze and I could feel her elation. There's not much better than that!

In a few hours I am off to Chapel Hill for a weekend with Ethel & her family. Daughter and Girlfriend (my niece) are coming with me. We are going to the Georgia Tech game tonight in the DOME! I am so excited to see those boys play!!! Girlfriend is not exactly a Carolina fan, but should enjoy seeing some excellent basketball. Tomorrow we are going to watch the girls play NC State. That should be awesome, too. Of course there will be some shopping involved at some point! Not to mention a walk or two around campus, Bruegger's, Panera, Starbucks, Ben & Jerry's, etc. You must remember where I live in order to understand my euphoria over these places that are part of most people's everyday life. This is the girl that was amazed to see the flavored syrups that could be added to sodas and coffees at 7-11.

ALSO, speaking of basketball.....my friend Carolina used to joke with us in college that she wanted a bunch of children when she "grew up" (no, I'm not referring to height!) - her own little basketball team to quote her directly. Well, it looks as if she is well on her way since her TWINS are due in August! They will join their sister who is presently 9 months old....yes, 3 children UNDER 16 months old. I am thrilled for her and her hubby AND simultaneously glad that it is not me!!! tee hee!

Anyway....sorry for the gap in entries. Guess what? I have either been extremely busy (work, basketball, cleaning etc.) or extremely slothlike (reading, lounging, watching poor tv, etc.). SHOCK! I will try to be better - at least I didn't get any email harassment this time....just a little verbal abuse from Brother. :0)