Reason, Season, Lifetime

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person."~ unknown

Once again I have checked in on this blog to find that it has been an incredible amount of time since I posted.  It may be that I have been using my Facebook to release my written ramblings.  Once again I am compelled to write, but am wary of using FB as my platform.  Perhaps I should be wary of this as well, but only a few people know of this one and, due to my absence, probably aren't even reading this any longer.  So, hey, I'm on here for now or at least until I figure out where the proper forum for me is. 

I selected the title and quote for this because I've been reflecting on myself as a friend lately.  What I have concluded is that I'm the friend that provides the comic relief.  When things get serious, I am the one that is driven to find the comedy in the situation or link the situation to something that will lighten the mood.  I am there for my friends, but desperately need to find something to bring about laughter.  It may be inappropriate, but that is the service I provide.  I can be serious, but even while being serious, I ultimately HAVE to relate to something comedic.  It's my survival mechanism I guess. 

Due to an onslaught of negative news lately, I have been trying to find humor as well as a way to use humor to brighten someone's spirits and to keep me from sinking into a personal abyss of sadness.  For me to be excessively morose is not how I work nor is it what I think my friends expect from me.  I will be the one to enhance the inappropriate to make others laugh and smile.  To alter my role would not fulfill my typical role. The only thing I have succeeded in is becoming reclusive, spending time alone with my own thoughts and trying to muster up the strength to be a supportive friend.  I have found few solutions and a heightened level of stress.  

I apologize for the "stream of consciousness" rambling, but I am searching for a solution to a dilemma.

When I end up publishing my thoughts in writing on FB, I am often told that I should write a book.  People seem to enjoy the insane things I write.  I would love to write, but what in the hell would I actually publish?  My best writings start out small inside my soul and build until I finally find the words and organize them and set them free.  I never know when the mood will hit or what will result.  It's done through sheer compulsion.  It is never done out of duty.  My kind of writing is not something that would result in a novel.  I could not meet a deadline with quality work because I must FEEL it and write it as it comes.  So, that leaves me to do it without financial compensation, but a retention of my sanity...which I guess is a definite plus.  Today I was hit with the notion of sharing something daily that I find humorous or ridiculous so I can uplift myself and anyone who decides to read it.  I want to focus on the fun in life and the comedy that can be found to lighten most situations.  I want to bring joy to someone for a moment in a genuinely unhappy situation.  I haven't quite figured out HOW to accomplish this.  I don't want it to be out there for everyone on FB (who would probably judge me and have me committed), but I also want to reach my "lifetime" friends who can use a dose of comedic medicine.  Should I use THIS blog or create another and only share the address with a few?  So much to figure out.  Anyway, mulling this over and putting it out into the world so maybe, just maybe, I can settle on a solution that satisfies my plagued mind. 

OK, so this is not one of my best writings, but it has purged the need to express myself.  Has it reduced my inner turmoil?  Not really.  Well, it was worth a try.  Maybe the effect will hit later.