Hi Ho, Hi Ho

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
–Bertrand Russell

Look out...the breakdown must be imminent! I promptly awoke at 4 AM obsessed with how I was going to fit in everything I need to do today at school. I knew I had to write my parent letter for the week and that my morning planning time would be filled with a team meeting. This notion completely prevented me from going back to sleep. So, what did I do? I gave in to my obsession and answered the call of my dear sweet Dell to compose my letter and email it to school so it would be ready for print. Now it is so close to "alarm time" that it is utterly ridiculous for me to go back to bed. I have already "popped" two Excedrin for a headache that is more than likely due to the stress I have put upon myself already today (either that or it's my ear acting up...it felt kind of odd last night...that's all I need). I am uncomfortable about my day at school because my plans are incomplete....despite the fact that I know that I have last Friday's plans to "go with" and know that I am capable of teaching without explicit plans in front of me. Crap! I just remembered something I left out of my letter! Be right back! There. That's better. For now.

Yesterday I was talking with Carolina. It was wonderful to speak to her. I was sharing with her how I'd been laughing with a friend of mine about how quirky people are (that's the nice way of putting it)....that everyone is "messed up" in some way and in discovering another person's "quirks" is one way to make us feel better about ourselves....our own personal "weirdness" doesn't seem quite so bad. Do you know what...I am so anxiety-filled at this moment that all I can think about is the fact that my alarm is about to go off and I am not near it...I'm going to give in to my OCD and go turn it off before it wakes Hubby...be right back. Whew...mission accomplished with only 7 minutes to spare!! Anyway, back to the random rambling. Carolina and I giggled as we talked about how freakishly anal we had become about certain things....things that never would have bothered us in our college years but would create hives in our present lives. For instance, it was nothing for us to skip a class in undergrad. In fact, we both vividly remember one semester of college where if we ran into each other on campus between classes, it was a rule to just skip the next class. We would have to make sure our paths did NOT cross if we really needed to get to class that day. Some days Carolina would "surprise" me by being seated on the steps outside the building because she knew I'd obey the "rule". Those of you who know me now/met me after college would probably not believe that I could live like that!!! It's just too weird to comprehend! Somehow this freakishness has developed during true adulthood. Carolina summed it up really well....she (and, Carolina, I'm counting on you to make sure I get this right) said that our 30's are a time when we embrace and come face to face with all of our "quirks". I don't think I have quite captured the essence and emotion that went along with the conversation. Carolina, help me out here!!! We each started to share some recent "freak out" stories that we chuckled about. And what did I share? The story of how last week I left a meeting in tears because I was not prepared for the assigned task. One of the group leaders followed me back to my classroom, carrying my books, and spent the next 30-40 minutes with me to "talk me down" and help me begin the task. After the "melt down", I went to Joy's room (I went to her because this is a trait she and I both share....luckily we rarely experience it simultaneously and can laugh about it together - the day we DO share it together will most certainly trigger an apocalyptic reaction of epic proportions) where we laughed about it. Yes, the 30's is definitely a time where we can look at our "quirks". I can't say I enjoy them, but after the initial anxiety wears off, I can look at them and laugh at them knowing that they are just part of who I am. Well, it's officially time to start my day. I am NOW ready to go back to sleep, but that is not an option. Blah. It's even raining. So much for a good hair day. At least I selected a "sunny" outfit for today. I love this cute little outfit....it's so preppie: pink plaid bermudas and a pink collared shirt which can be topped with a pink v-neck sweater AND completed with a sassy pair of pink flip flops (with little wooden heels). I must go, but before I do I will leave with one "deep thoughts invoking" question: Was it just me or was I the only one excited about the "preppie 80's" comeback only to have my happiness subtly ended when the trend was traumatically shortened by the entrance of the "flashdance 80's"? Leggings and bubble skirts? Tight, straight-leg jeans? Discuss amongst y'selves (said in the voice of Mike Meyers as the Jewish woman on SNL).