Last Hoorah

It's kind of the last hoorah for the vacationing public. ~ Eric Walker

It's definitely over. The last hoorah before I return to school on Monday. I must say that this has been the best summer I have had in quite some time. I have adored the lack of responsibility that I have had. The lack of deadlines and stress associated with work-related life. No grades to obsessively check numerous times each day. My OCD-like tendencies have actually abated for a bit. I still sweat the small stuff at times, but overall I have become a less frenzied and more easy-going person. We just returned (yesterday) from our whirlwind trip to Baltimore and Chesapeake (VA). We left early Monday morning and arrived in Baltimore Monday afternoon. Mapquest said the trip would take 7 hrs and 59 min. They were pretty accurate....I guess they sensed that we were traveling with three children (Girlfriend - 13yr.old niece, Daughter- 10, and Son - 4). Thank the Lord for my expansive, gas-guzzling SUV!!! Divide and conquer is one strategy we enlisted to help ease the horror of long-distance driving with the brood. Of course a myriad of other issues arose that could only be solved through the use of individual padded cells within the car.
1. We borrowed a portable DVD player to ease the children's misery of traveling hrs. in the car...a luxury I never had as a child. (The next line must be read using the voice of Dana Carvey acting like the crotchety old man from SNL) In my day, we rode in the car quietly with no form of technological tools to use as entertainment. We drew, looked out the window at the scenery, and listened to music mandated by those driving....AND WE LIKED IT!! or at least we didn't complain about it. :0) Not having traveled with a DVD player in my car before, I did not anticipate the caliber of whining that would take place over movie selection (mainly the protests of Son). The girls, being older, understood the concept of taking turns. The boy...not so much. Next time I will devise a precise and elaborate movie selection process involving the alignment of celestial bodies....apparently that's what is needed to make this simple luxury work well.
2. How many stops to the bathroom can be made on a single trip?! I feel like I have visited every bathroom between here and Baltimore! After this venture....I NEVER want to hear males bash females over bathroom usage! Son had to "GO SOOOO BAD" (said in a pained voice with an equally pained expression on his face) at least 18 gazillion times! Finally, he agreed to pee in an empty drink bottle. How I convinced him of this, I will never know. Of course the girls were more than eager to help in the coercion since they wanted to witness the show. Do you even know how hard it is to convince two girls to not look at a four-year-old pee in a bottle? Do you even know how hard it is to carry out this process without laughing? I had to make sure the girls were not looking, try not to laugh while they were snickering, hold the bottle containing my son's "private" (as he called it at that moment - he had many other terms throughout the trip: weenie, banana, sausage, palooza {another tale from the trip}, etc. - where does this come from?!) while he relieved himself, and make sure the pee didn't go everywhere. Then I had to store the bottle where nobody could get to it to drink. Good times. We had to perform this maneuver once more on the trip up. The second time was even better because he pressed himself into the bottle further, preventing air from escaping as well, leading to a "farting" noise as the bottle filled with liquid. Farting noise + laughing girls + angry boy = near accidental spillage of urine. For the trip home I found a bottle with a larger opening to prevent this situation...thank goodness he did not require this service on the return trip however.
After completing the first leg of this endeavor, we arrived at the hotel. Son has two basic noise levels: loud and louder. He still does not understand that in a hotel there are people above, below, and to either side of us who do not wish to hear the screaming of a child whether it be in horror or delight. The ride had frazzled us a bit, so after a brief rest we strolled down to the Inner Harbor. We hadn't really had lunch, per se....we didn't want to stop yet again during the ride....so we ventured over to The Gallery (a small, but very nice mall) and took advantage of the food court. The walk over was quite interesting. It was a bit scary for the kids to cross the streets with traffic moving about. I wasn't very hungry, but helped Hubby eat his chicken and broccoli over fried rice - yum. Girlfriend got a Happy Meal while Son & Daughter stuffed themselves with Sbarro pizza. On a side note, did you know that the Happy Meal box is just the right size to hold several DVD's in the car? On the way home it served just that purpose!! Then it was on to gaze at the Harbor. We pointed to all the cool points of interest that we remembered from our honeymoon trip: the ships, museums, World Trade Center, the USS Torsk, the National Aquarium, etc. Then we took in the newer sights: the enormous Barnes and Noble, the newer shops & restaurants, AND (grunt like Tim Allen in Home Improvement) the ESPN Zone. I am not a fan of game rooms. I do not play video games....basically because I suck at them and deem them a waste of good money. This is one area where Hubby and I differ. He loves a game room. Needless to say, we had to enter man-paradise before leaving the Harbor for that day. For those unfamiliar with the ESPN Zone, it is a bar/restaurant/game room. The game room is on a floor by itself. It is filled with a wide variety of sports games like basketball shooting, football throwing, baseball something-or-other, hockey, golf, bowling....games that involve physical activity. All of the video games are sports-related, interactive games: rafting, cycling, ping pong, jet skiing, snow skiing, snowboarding, racing, horse racing, hang gliding, etc. These are not violent, kill others in a bloodbath kind of games...which put a smile on my face. We bought a few of the "swipe cards" and let the kids go. The cost was rather reasonable for the amount of time we spent there and the caliber of games. I, not a fan of the game room, even had fun. I wouldn't say I was converted over to the Dark Side (you know....a fan of all game rooms), but I definitely had fun at the ESPN Zone. At this point it was getting to be early evening....not a good time to be roaming the streets. I know some people have no problems with being out in the city at night, but it's not for me. I am a small-town chick and am not comfortable with roaming dark streets in an unfamiliar city with children. Hubby feels the same way...not to mention that he was exhausted from driving. We started back across the Harbor. Daughter, a lover of all things girlie, spotted a jewelry stand. There was no way we were getting out of there without checking it out. Fortunately, the others were able to watch a street magician while Daughter and I perused the stand. Oh, how she loves the sparkly things! I was finally able to get her to leave the stand (with a promise that we would visit again) and watch the end of the magic show. The magician was doing the "rope trick" where the rope is cut and then suddenly one piece again. The volunteer that he had was a boy about 7 or 8. Each time he cut the rope and then saw that the pieces were still uneven he was absolutely amazed....his face was priceless. The kids were able to sit on the bricks on the sidewalk and watch the rest of the show. The Inner Harbor is really clean and well-kept. At the close of the show Daughter spotted one more sparkly booth. We decided to check it out before leaving the Harbor area. It didn't take long...the baubles were mostly dog tags and bulky chains....not the shiny bracelets and rings on display at the other booth. Now on to the CVS we had spotted on the way to the Harbor. Girlfriend needed something to alleviate some orthodontic work and I needed to pick something up myself. As we approached, we were shocked to find out that it was closed! We had only missed it by 15 minutes! Someone directed us to a 7-11...three blocks in the other direction from our room. Hubby opted to take the boy to the room and I got the girls. As it got later and we walked further from our hotel, the surroundings got a bit creepier. I had to keep reminding the girls to just walk and not look about pointing. Maybe I was being overly cautious, but I was not really fond of the idea of us girls walking the streets of Baltimore....did I mention that I also did not want them to sense how uneasy I was? As we walked on our third block (without seeing the 7-11) I noticed a neon sign on the 4th block. There, in bright color, was the word HUSTLER. Girlfriend noticed this sign too and let me know that she was skeptical about our surroundings. I had already mentally decided that we were NOT going onto that next block. I shared my plan with her: "If we don't find the 7-11 on THIS block, we are going back." That's when we found the door to the 7-11. YAY! No mouth stuff for her. I had to request my need for supplies from the cashier as the glorious items I needed were kept behind the counter. yay. I know I am an adult, but having to ask a clerk for tampons is still embarrassing....I purposefully waited for the female clerk to be available. I almost wish I hadn't. Before we could get out of the store a man, who I assume was homeless, came into the store with a street security person. We had seen the man earlier digging in the trash. Daughter was pretty upset because she recognized him and was able to see that he had open sores on his arms. It was shocking for her to see considering the sheltered life she leads on our little island. I know it is an image that will stay with both her and Girlfriend as they both referenced it several times on the trip. When we were safe and sound in the hotel, the children decided it was pool time. So, down to the pool we went. They had a super time swimming and splashing around. I was so tired! The early departure combined with the ride, sightseeing, and speed-walk back to the hotel was beginning to take its toll. I finally drug the water rats out of the pool. It was after 9 and we still hadn't eaten dinner. We took the easy route and went to the hotel restaurant....kids eat free at the Holiday Inn. :0) The rest of the night was rather uneventful....pajamas, tv, snuggling, and sleep. I am needing some beach time SO.....I am going to end for now. I will leave you with a realization that was discovered on our trip.....do you know how many knees boys have? (This is better verbally....when spelling isn't involved) four: the right knee, the left knee, the hi-knee, and the wee-knee. Oh, the things we can learn from children. :0) Yes, we are a sick bunch...but boy do we laugh.