Instruction Manual, Please

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage. ~Bill Cosby

Constantly questioning myself as a parent makes me yearn for ONE simple instruction booklet that could save me countless hours of second-guessing myself. Today was a day when I could have used a solid, this-is-the-way-to-handle-this advice. While at school this afternoon, I heard that someone in our community had hung himself. As it turned out, it was someone Hubby, Daughter, and Son knew quite well. Daughter loved seeing him at the marina where Hubby's boat is docked. He was always friendly and treated the children wonderfully. So, this afternoon I had to tell Daughter that this man had died. She was quite upset, but wanted to know what happened. "Did he have a heart attack?" she asked. I really didn't know what to say. Should I divulge the complete truth, exposing her to the reality of suicide? Should I try to shelter my ten-year-old from the the harsh realities of the grown-up world? I needed that non-existent manual. During step class, the "guy who hung himself" was mentioned. I also received a call at home from a concerned friend....someone who knew that Daughter would be crushed by the news. At that point, I believed that it would be best to make sure she heard the truth at home from Hubby and me rather than "out on the street". Although the pain associated with having to tell Daughter such awful news is nothing compared to the anguish this man must have been experiencing, it was pretty horrible having to explain to our baby girl what had happened to her friend. Even though I know it was best to hear it from us, it was terrible having to expose her to the harshness of life. I am hoping we did the right thing. I am rather sure we did, but there's always that doubt. A nice little instruction manual with all the answers would make life so much easier!